I knew I shouldn’t encourage his cheekiness, but I laughed anyway.
With a grin and a wink, he released my hand and disappeared into the bathroom.
Still perched on the edge of the bed, I took a deep breathand stared at the closed door, processing everything he’d told me. Leaving me had broken his heart. He’d said it with such conviction, it left no room for doubt. And if that was true, he really had loved me. It seemed like such a simple, stupid thing to need—the reassurance that our time together hadn’t been one-sided, and his words of love hadn’t been lies—but hearing him validate it left me lighter. Less angry. More conciliatory. Without me asking for it, Ben had given me the closure I needed.
And after seven years, I was ready to forgive him.
10
BEN
I’d slow-walked my shave, shower, and teeth brushing as long as I could. With any luck, Savannah would be asleep, or at least tucked under the covers. Sleeping within feet of her last night had been bad enough, but at least we’d both been decked out in sweatpants and thick shirts to stave off the cold. Seeing her come out of the bathroom in that thin, pale blue tank top with matching short shorts, her long, silky hair curling at the edges, and her face flushed like we’d just had our way with each other.
Christ.I gripped the edges of the bathroom sink and took deep breaths while I ran through past mission ops plans, the Ranger equivalent of reciting baseball stats. Whatever it took to get my mind off Savannah’s body, the memory of her soft, warm curves curled into my arms, and that unexpected and perfect kiss, and…Shit. Was it a four-man team or a six-man one that took down the hostiles outside of Islamabad?
I gave up on the useless exercise. I would just have to gut this out like a true Ranger. I packed my toiletries back into my kit bag and returned to the bedroom. I found her sitting up on the far side of the bed, covers pulled up over her chest—thank God—and hunched over a notebook. She had most of the pillows stacked up like a wall in the middle ofthe bed. I had so many questions, but I started with the easiest.
I pointed to her notebook. “Plotting your takeover of the world?”
“Hmm.” She arched an eyebrow, then looked down at the page and pretended to read out loud. “Dear Diary, Day 2 of my life as a fugitive… OMG, it is So. Much. Fun.”
I grinned. “Dear Diary, OMG, she’s not a fugitive. Fugitives are bad guys. She’s…in a transition period.”
“A transition period?” She grunted. “I hope this Chicago job is in PR because you’d make a good spin doctor.”
I pointed to the pillow wall. “Mind if I take one of these to set up my bed on the floor?”
“About that.” She set down the notebook and pen on the narrow nightstand beside her. “I’ve checked, and there really isn’t room for a grown person, let alone a… Well, I think we should share the bed. It’s in my own best interest.”
I cocked an eyebrow.
She blushed. “Because you’re driving, and there’s a lower chance of us crashing if you’ve managed to get some sleep.”
“Very self-serving of you.” I pointed to the pillows. “And is this to keep us on our respective sides of the bed?”
“Exactly.”
I ran a hand through my short hair. “You’ve never seen an old movie have you?”
“What does that mean?” She slid to lie down and pulled the covers up to her chin.
I wished that would do more to distract my mind from her body, but I’d memorized how she’d looked stepping out of the steamy bathroom. I’d be seeing that in my fantasies for a long, long time to come.
I sighed. “It means the pillow bank or blanket wall or name-the-barrier never survives the night.”
“Relax, soldier. I’m not an enemy who’s planning to breach your defenses in the middle of the night.”
That was a damn shame, but I didn’t say those words out loud because there was too much charged energy bouncing between us as it was.
“Sometimes it’s not the enemy you have to worry about. It’s the friendly fire that’ll kill you.” I slid into my side of the bed anyway. I had to admit, it felt a hell of a lot better than last night on the rocky ground. Two years ago, I’d have appreciated but barely registered the difference. It was good I was getting out of the Ranger business because that was a sure sign I was getting too old for the game.
She turned off her light and shifted on her side of the bed. “If it helps, consider me neither friend nor foe. We’re just…in a transition together. No need to be scared of me.”
I grinned into the near darkness. “I’m not sure ‘scared of’ is the phrase I’d use.”Turned on by. Desperate for. Crazy about.
Shit. Am I still crazy about her?
I’d have plenty of time to ponder that because I was pretty damn sure I wasn’t going to sleep well again, with Savannah a few feet away from me for the second night in a row.
