“They are, as far as I know. I got the impression she wanted him fully in the agency as soon as possible, before he could run away.”
And there it was, what my own sister thought of me. Mai knew it. Dad knew it. Savannah had tried to overlook it, but it had bitten her in the ass, and I’d nearly set her up for heartbreak again. For the short-term, get in quick, kick ass and take names, get out quicker, I was the go-to guy. For anything else, I was the king of cut and run.
Three-Be Ben. I’d never live down my reputation, and I’d never outgrow that name.
After sleepingfor the rest of the ride back to HEAT HQ, taking a twenty-minute shower to scrub mud and sweat from every crevice of my body, and passing out on my bed for another two hours, I was recovered enough for the team dinner. I dressed in jeans and a black T-shirt to match my mood, which was inexplicably dark. I didn’t know why hearing Mai’s opinion of me had pissed me off so much. It’s not like it was a secret that she and Dad had that in common. I couldn’t fault either one of them for seeing the truth.
I put on my game face and smiled into the mirror. Tomorrow, I would be officially inducted into HEAT’s ranks and would go on active duty for my remaining five weeks of servitude. Everyone else in the building saw it as a huge win, so I would go along with it. Luckily, my future boss in Chicago was holding my real job for me. I didn’t know how X had managed that, but I figured she owed me, so I accepted the small kindness and left it at that.
By the time I made it to the first floor, the team and Savannah were gathered in the gym, where the kitchen table, with added leaves, had been pulled out into the center of the large space. My gaze lingered on her a little too long, but I earned a smile, which made it worth the risk of someone noticing. I reluctantly looked away from her and finally, after months away and more than a week of promises to arrive, laid eyes on my sister. Only an inch shorter than I am and dressed in her signature black that matched her short hair, she was hard to miss.
“Congrats, little brother!” she said.
She barreled toward me, and I opened my arms for her hug.
“Careful,” I said as she approached. “Not sure I’m all in one piece at the moment.”
“You’ll survive.” She drew me into a dramatic embrace like she’d been doing since we were toddlers. “By the way,” she whispered, “Mom and Dad know you’re in the state.”
Well, shit. “When did they find out?” That really translated tohow pissed is Mom that I haven’t visited yet?
“A couple of days ago. I talked to them Sunday, and it kind of slipped out.”
I propped my hands on my hips and gave her my disappointed look. “And?” Because when Mai flashed her innocent smile like she was now, I knew there was an “and.”
“I’ll tell you about it later.”
I knew I should press the issue, but I was too damned tire. Whatever scheme Mai was hatching, that was a shitshow for another day. For now, I had a team dinner to endure before I could lure Savannah back to my bed.
I watched Sav until she looked at me, then smiled at her. I wouldn’t give up eye contact. If she wanted this look to end, she would have to do it. It was probably the exhaustion talking. Definitely the low blood sugar making things worse. But whatever friends-with-benefits deal we’d struck, I wanted to amend the terms. I didn’t deserve her. I never would. But I wanted her as much, much more than my friend, and before this night ended, I planned to tell her that.
21
BEN
Kat took charge of our little group and assigned our seats around the table. I was at the head because the party was to celebrate my success. Mai was to my right, and Dr. Bond—Sam—was to my left. Kat and Pasco, sitting across from each other were next, then Bloom and Wheeler. Savannah was at the other end of the table, another place of honor, I supposed, but too damn far away from me. I wanted to hug her, too, hear her congratulations, curl my aching body into her arms, and fall asleep cocooned in her warmth.
“Earth to Ben.” Mai nudged my shoulder. “Pour yourself some wine and pass it on.”
I did as ordered, then glanced around the room, realizing someone was missing. “Hey,” I said to Mai, “I thought this Lang guy was coming with you.”
“He had to make a detour, check on something at home,” she said. “He’ll be here tomorrow.”
I glanced at Kat. “Are we sure this guy exists?”
She grinned. “Trust me, he does. And you won’t be able to miss him.”
I didn’t follow up on that. Tonight was all about putting off until tomorrow what I didn’t have the energy to deal with today.
As we passed around platters of the catered dinner, conversations started across the table. I tried to stay reasonably engaged, although, with each bite, I was a little less famished and a little more exhausted. The four seated closest to me didn’t seem to notice. They’d worked together frequently and were busy recalling war stories. Not literal ones in this case, but sometimes death-defying. I managed to catch Savannah’s eye more than once. She was doing a better job of engaging with Bloom and Wheeler, but happily for me, looked like she, too, wished we’d been seated closer together.
At the end of dinner, we all helped move everything to the kitchen. “Bloom and I have volunteered for clean-up duty,” Wheeler announced, “but if we can all sit back down for a few minutes, I understand Pasco has prepared a special treat.”
Half the attendees groaned.
Sam patted my shoulder. “I tried to stop him.”
“Not another of his Jensen-inspired drink concoctions,” I pleaded. A couple shots—or more, knowing Pasco—would do me in, given my sorry-ass state.
