“When I’m under extreme stress, I sometimes get bouts of vomiting. The last three weeks have been hell, so I’ve had a few bad days.”
“That probably explains it. And did you use secondary birth control?”
“I wasn’t having sex. I mean, not until recently.” I’d never been nervous discussing my sex life with a female physician before, but I’d never had a gynecologist who was a coworker of the man I was seeing.
She laid her cool, light hand on top of mine. “Savannah, everything we discuss here is strictly confidential, just as it would be in any doctor’s office. The only information I can or will share with HEAT staff or any other person outside this office is whether or not you’re fit for the upcoming field operation. That being said, if you’re uncomfortable, I can refer you to a local doctor to discuss whether there’s a concern.”
I trusted her, and her reassurances made me feel better. “I wasn’t being sexually active until a week before my period was due, and we’ve also been using condoms.” Except… I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Except the first time.”
Remaining seated on her stool, she rolled over to the counter and picked up a printed calendar. “What day was that?”
I cleared my throat. “Sunday night, a week and a half ago.”
“Right, then if conception did occur, this would be day eleven of gestation.”
I flinched at the words conception and gestation.
“Which means,” she opened a drawer and pulled out a small box, “an early pregnancy test will be over ninety-nine percent accurate.”
“Should I take it now?” I was so nervous, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to pee.
“No, you’ll need to test the first urine of the day. Read the instructions tonight, and you take the test first thing in the morning. If it’s negative, we’ll wait until Monday to see if your period starts, and if not, we’ll take a second urine test.”
“And if it’s positive?”
“I’ll be here to answer any and all questions you have. I can make recommendations for obstetricians who can provide services no matter what you choose to do. Oh, and the results of the test won’t affect your ability to go on the operation, and the operation won’t cause any harm to the embryo. They’re surprisingly resilient unless they start out as nonviable.”
“I had some wine last night. Do I need to worry about that?”
“If it was a small amount, it’s not a problem. Like I said, resilient.”
I closed my eyes and choked back a sob. I never thought I’d be in this position. I’d been careful about birth control and my health and my sex life. Until I hadn’t.
“Do not blame yourself. Even with perfect behavior, nothing short of abstinence and some sterilizations are 100 percent effective birth control.” Bond stood and hugged me. “And don’t think you’re alone. I’m here to help you every step of the way. If you decide to involve anyone else, I’m sure they’ll be supportive, as well.”
I appreciated her not mentioning Ben by name. I hadn’t yet decided whether I’d tell him about the test before I took it. And then there was Mai. There was a time in my life when Iwouldn’t have considered facing a potentially life-altering event like this without sharing it with her. Friends like that were rare, and I didn’t currently have any in my life, including her. Maybe someday, if we really worked on it, but not today.
“Thank you, Doctor Bond.” I sat up straight. She handed me a tissue, and I wiped away my tears. “It’s just been a hell of a few weeks.”
“You’ve had a lot on your plate, to put it mildly. But do us both a favor. No catastrophizing, no list-making, no planning for the next twenty-four hours. We’ll have more information then, and you’ll know what decisions need to be made.”
“You forgot to say no worrying.”
“I don’t like to give advice I know my patients can’t follow.”
“Thank you,” I said again, and then I hugged her again. It was the only thing I could think of because I couldn’t do what I really wanted. I wanted call my mom.
25
BEN
We were exhausted from a day full of adrenaline rushes. I was used to that lifestyle, but Savannah wasn’t, so when we crawled into her bed and she said she wanted to cuddle, I was all in. Truth be told, holding her and being held was a salve for me, as well. But within a few minutes, I realized she was wide awake, almost vibrating.
I went into solution mode. “Tomorrow’s going to go fine. This is a low-risk plan, and we have a contingency for everything. But if you need help to relax, I can draw you a hot bath or rub your back. Or get you some chamomile tea.”
“No, thank you.” She was still for a few minutes, then spoke again. “I had lots of calls today.”
I lazily stroked her shoulder, enjoying her soft voice and warm skin. “Oh, how did the call with the investor go?”
