After the whole war fiasco yesterday, Violeta realized there was nothing she could do to piss me or Daisy off, and she let us be. We actually got to enjoy Saona. We spent most of the day with my family, but today was just for us to hang out and relax. I wasn’t able to relax much, though, because Daisy has been pretty much giving me the cold shoulder all day. She’s talked to me but about nothing particular, just whatever I ask. We’re all going to be together for the rehearsal dinner, so the aunts and uncles didn’t want to push for more activities.
Daisy was working at some point, even though I refused. I need to rest, and this is the only way I’ll be able to reset and be ready to get back to work after Christmas. She thought I was working the day before, but I was really just keeping myself entertained so as not to think about her naked in the shower just steps away.
Dinner passes without a hiccup, and although Daisy easily pretends she’s mine, she’s not okay. I can feel it in my bones. Now, we’re all in the resort’s club, drinking, dancing, and talking. Daisy has been glued to my side but talking to Livie most of the night. She hasn’t looked my way much, even though she lets me wrap my arms around her or even kiss her head. I don’t know what happened, and I wish she would just give me a sign.
I can’t take my eyes off her no matter how much I try. Not now, when she’s dancing with one of my cousins. Not when people talk to me. Not ever. Even if she’s upset at me for some reason.
“You know…people who are fake dating their best friends don’t look at them like that.”
“Like what?” I ask my sister, who’s grinning from ear to ear.
“Like you’d want to marry her one day. Alex looks at me like that, you know? Why don’t you just tell her?”
“Tell her what?” I know she’s smart, and maybe playing coy is an insult to her intelligence, but I can’t flat out say it. Not without telling Daisy first.
“That you love her.”
“I’ve told her I love her our whole lives.”
“Not like that, big bro. When are you going to push for more? When are you going to take the shot? You’re usually a go-getter. An overachiever. A dream bigger and shoot higher kind of guy. I’ve always admired that about you.” She pauses to look at Daisy. “I’ve always wondered why you play it safe with Daisy.” Livie’s not wrong. I take risks, I try hard things, I never give up, I never quit, so why can’t I with her? Why can’t I be brave around Daisy?
Then, it hits me. I can’t be brave, not when…“I’m afraid.”
Livie nods and smiles softly at me. “Fear, we can work with. So tell me: what’s the worst that can happen?”
I open my mouth to answer but stop myself to ponder her question. What would be the worst-case scenario? She doesn’t feel the same, and I’m left brokenhearted? She thinks I’m joking and plays it off as she usually does when I try to hint at something more? What is it? I look back at the two decades of friendship we share, and the answer is as clear as day.
“That she won’t be my friend anymore.”
Livie smiles and nods looking at the dance floor. I follow her gaze and find a very rosy-cheeked and very happy Daisy trying her best to keep up with my dad’sdance moves. I love that my family loves her this much—almost as much as I do.
“Do you really think anything can ruin your friendship?” Livie asks.
Honestly…probably not. Nothing has through over two decades. Not different schools or going to college. Not relationships or time and space. I’m meant to be hers, in any capacity. I shake my head in answer, and she nods.
“Then just be honest with her. Is friendship really a friendship if you’re hiding something that big from her?”
“I guess not.”
“Then man up and tell her. Also…you’re like a bazillion years old. Grow up a little, big bro.” She pats my back, hops out of her seat, and bounces on the balls on her feet all the way to Alex’s lap. He welcomes her with a smile; it warms my heart that my little sister found someone who loves her the way she deserves to be loved.
“¿Puedo?” I ask my father as soon as I join them on the dance floor.
“Claro, muchacho. ¡Esta niña me va a sacar el jugo! ¡Dale, dale!” I laugh at his words as he walks back to the table.
“What did he say?” Daisy asks.
“That you’re gonna run him dry.”
We both laugh. I hold Daisy’s hand and bring her to me, slowing us down to match the bachata playing. It’s almost like fate; the DJ must know how much I love dancing bachata—how much I love dancing with her. Daisy always being around in my house meant she was there for the early Saturday mornings when Aventura, Juan Luis Guerra, Gilberto Santa Rosa, or Anthony Santos were playing. It meant my dad was walking around dancing with anything that moved, teaching us the steps. My mother silently drank her café con leche and read thenewspaper while us kids learned side steps and how to follow rhythm. Daisy is no stranger to any of my favorite Dominican and Puerto Rican singers, and I love that about her.
“I love your family,” she whispers.I love you, I want to say, but I keep it inside. We fall into a silent dance beyond what our mouths say. This silence is deeper. She won’t talk. She won’t look at me. The only communication between us is the coordination of our bodies and how she melts in my hands. Even if she’s upset at me, her body talks. Her body is comfortable with me. Her body feels safe with me.
“What’s going on, Daze?” I ask, keeping my voice soft.
“Nothing,” she mumbles without turning to look at. Yeah, nothing my ass.
“Talk to me. What’s going on?”
