I stare at her, anger burning in my chest. She’s right, of course, but that doesn’t make it any less infuriating. I’m desperate to get to France, to tell Mistral and the rest of those treacherous families to shove it. But I know she won’t be moved. I sigh, too tired to fight any longer.
‘Fine. What about the other great families? Have we heard from them?’
The other part of my plan is a bit of a gamble. While Raven are close with Lion, Scorpion and Jaguar are more of an unknown quantity. My mother was unsure, at first, when I asked her to invite them to the celebrations leading up to my coronation, even though it’s not unusual for representatives of each family to attend big events, such as anointings and coronations; all four families attended my mother’s. But it was a different time, pre-Rising.
Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.
I didn’t need my father to teach me that. But it’s not until now, as I take the first steps into power, that I understand what it means. My humanity will become common knowledge once I’m crowned, all around the world. And there will be those who see it as an opportunity. Raven took North America from Jaguar, following the Red Rising. I don’t want my perceived weakness to make them think it’s a good time to try and take it back.
They just know what they’re told.
My mother was right. And the story around what it means to be human has been the same for far too long. It’s time to change the narrative. Inviting the great families is a chance to dispel any myths about who I am. And, if I manage to get even one of them on-side, it strengthens my position further.
‘Nothing yet.’
‘‘Do you think they’ll come?’
‘To any of it? I’m not sure. Lion, yes. We have ties with their house. Scorpion came to my coronation, but things were … difficult. As for Jaguar…’ She shakes her head. ‘There’s a lot of tangled history here. We can only ask the question. It’s up to them if they decide to accept.’
I pick up one of the manuscripts, smoothing out the crinkles. My mother takes it from me then shuffles the papers into a neat pile, her hand resting on top.
‘Let me help you to bed.’
‘I’m fine,’ I protest, but she shuts me down.
‘I’m still the Raven, aren’t I?’ Humour gleams in her dark gaze, despite her admonishment, as she helps me from the chair. We leave the library, guards following in our wake. When we reach my room she helps me into bed, tucking the covers around me like she did when I was a child. Then she kisses my forehead. ‘Sleep, my gorgeous girl,’ she murmurs, her hand light on my hair.
Finally, I rest.
ChapterThirteen
A FEW MISSING SHEEP
Iblink at the bright sky, pulling my jacket more tightly around me. Frost crackles beneath my boots, my breath puffing clouds in the icy morning air. Mist fills the hollows, wreathes the dark trees, stretches ghostly fingers across the shimmering landscape. It’s beautiful.
I’m supposed to be getting ready to leave. I woke early, heading straight down to the practice ring for another session with Varin. He’s teaching me basic self-defence as well as sword fighting, and I spent an hour trying to take a wooden dagger from him, my fingers throbbing, my arms and shoulders aching. Afterwards, though, instead of going to my room to pack, I headed outside through the dancers’ quarters, careful not to let any stray fingers of light into the shuttered house. I glance back at it now, the honey-coloured stone glowing against the silver-blue morning, towers stark against the opalescent sky.
I spent so many years in darkness, only venturing out to watch the occasional sunrise. My time in the Safe Zone helped me overcome that conditioning, the feeling that, somehow, it’s dangerous for me to be outside during the day, even though I know I’m safer now than I ever was at night.
I remember Ruth telling me, after the long night when Kyle carried me through darkness to safety, that we needed light. I saw her a couple of times, when I lived in the Safe Zone. The first time was at the market. She almost dropped the apples she was holding, one of them bouncing from her hands. I caught it, bringing it back to her. Then I thanked her for all she’d done. For refusing Kyle, when he wanted her help to deliver me to Mistral. And for showing me around the Safe Zone, despite already knowing who I was.
The second time was for coffee, sitting at the café where Michael worked. She skirted around things, asking me how I was, how I found life in the Safe Zone. But I was direct. Told her why I was there, and what I wanted to do. That she was part of what inspired me to choose the Channel Islands for my project, her comment made on a cold beach leading me there. Her eyes filled with tears, and she pressed her warm hand on mine. ‘I’ll help you,’ she said. ‘If you want it. Just ask.’
So I took a deep breath and asked the one thing I’d been wondering, since the moment I realised she knew who I was. ‘Why didn’t you deliver me to the North Wind? I know you’re one of them.’
But she shook her head, frowning. ‘What makes you think I’m part of the North Wind?’
‘You … you knew Kyle. And you knew who I was. I thought…’
Her face creased with concern. ‘I might have known Kyle, but he had his own secrets. Had I known what he planned, I would have intervened further. He seemed to truly care for you.’
Yeah, he did. Shame it wasn’t true. It was Jessie he really loved. Or loved more than me, I guess.
I’m so glad we’re leaving tonight.
I’ve come to another realisation, as well. If I survive the Challenge, my next step is to choose a consort. The family line continues with me, if my parents don’t have another child, and I don’t have the luxury of waiting half a century for love like my mother did. Besides, I tried love, and look where that got me. I’ll choose with my head this time, not my heart. Kyle is gone, and so is Michael. He made his choice. It feels cold, but I can’t take any more heartbreak.
I think of my white coronation robes, waiting in the shuttered dark of the costume room, like a butterfly in a cocoon. And, next to it, my mother’s lacy wedding gown, my great-grandfather’s chain mail. War, power and love, all in one place. I hope to avoid one and gain the other. The third I need to let go.
