“Yeah,” Ella said. “For the better.”
“Not necessarily. I love making music, and writing with him is easy. It’s like we’ve always written together, but there’s so much more to it than that. The predictability of my schedule would be gone. I’d be on the road a lot, which means I would be away from you and Grace. And privacy? That would be out the window, and I don’t know, but there’s something comforting about being able to fuck up without the entire world knowing about it.”
“You are not going to fuck anything up,” Ella assured me. “This is an amazing opportunity. One that you deserve. You need to do this. You owe it to yourself to go after this dream.”
“What about the bakery?”
“What about it?” Ella asked. “We will make this work. Katie is a rockstar, and we can always hire more help.”
I chewed my lip. “What about Jax? What if we start this whole thing and he ends up hating me?”
“I hardly think you have to worry about that. That man is falling in love with you, Liv, and you clearly have feelings for him too. Why are you fighting this so hard?”
I sighed and rested my head against the back of the pedicure chair. “I’m scared, Ella. I’m so fucking scared.”
“Of what?”
“What if history repeats itself and—”
“I’m going to stop you right there,” she interjected. “The last week and a half, I feel like I finally haveyouback. Ever since Jax came into the picture, you’ve been moreyouthan you’ve been in years. For fuck’s sake, you’re singing again. You’re writing songs and actually considering giving this music thing a go. This ishuge,Olivia. Jax isn’t Benton. You know how I know that?” I looked over at her. “He encourages you to do the things you love instead of shoving them out of sight like they’re something to be ashamed of. Benton wanted you to suppress so many of the beautiful things that make you who you are. Jax doesn’t want to change a single thing about you.”
“Maybe not now, but what if that changes?”
She reached over and grabbed my hand. “Honey, love is a risk no matter how you slice it. There will always be a chance you could get hurt, one way or another. Love isn’t about choosing who you think won’t hurt you. It’s about choosing who’s worth hurting for. Look at me and Craig. I loved that man more than anything in the world. You know how good he was to me, and you know the hurt I’ve felt every day since we lost him. Even knowing the way it would end up, I’d choose him all over again. That’s what love is.” Tears glistened in her eyes, and I covered her hand with mine. “You’re getting another chance to live the life you always wanted, Liv.”
“What if I’m not good enough?” I whispered.
“You are more than good enough.” She squeezed my hand. “Besides, you know I don’t hang out with losers.” A smile twitched on her lips. “I mean it. You’re good enough, and honestly, I think if anyone can help you see that, it’s Jax. I think he could love you the way you deserve, but more importantly, I think he can help you love yourself the way you deserve. You’re getting a second chance here, babe. You should take it.”
I saw the sadness gloss over her eyes again, and I laced my fingers through hers. “You’re going to get your second chance too.”
“Maybe one day.” She smiled softly. “For now, I get to live vicariously through you. Promise me you’ll think about it, okay?” I sat thoughtfully for a moment until she nudged me with her elbow. “Okay?”
I knew Ella was right. I owed it to myself to think about what she’d said and about what Jax had been showing me since the night we met. I looked back over at Ella and nodded. “Okay.”
Chapter 14
Jax
“Let’s set up the snacktable over here.” Grace pointed to a vacant part of Liv’s back patio. Luca and Derek followed her directives and moved the folding table accordingly. “Katie and Dallas will be back with the decorations any minute now.”
“Perfect.” I surveyed the backyard and envisioned how everything would come together. Ella had taken Liv out for a spa day so that we could spend the afternoon getting everything ready. “The caterers confirmed they’ll be here at six to get set up, and Brady texted to let me know he just picked up Cash from the airport. They’re going to stop by the florist and pick up everything there for me. I think we’ve got it all covered.”
“All that’s left is to start the cake,” I said, following Grace inside through the patio door. I started unpacking the grocery sacks I’d placed on the kitchen counters.
“You sure you can do this?”
I placed my hand over my heart as if she’d wounded me. “You think I can’t bake this cake?”
She wrinkled her nose, looking over at me. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have my doubts.”
“My own coconspirator doubts me,” I scoffed. “I’m hurt, but since you’re worried, you can stick around and be my sous chef.”
“You better stay close,” Luca teased, maneuvering around us to grab a beer out of the fridge. “We want Liv to have a kitchen to come back to.” I laughed and picked up the dish-towel from the counter, slapping him on the arm with it. “You think we got enough alcohol?” Luca twisted the top off his beer.
“Yes, I do.” I narrowed my eyes at him. “This isn’t one of your ragers. This is a Liv party, and I’m going to need you to act accordingly please.”
“Fine.” Luca pretended to grimace. “IguessI’ll be on my best behavior. What can I do to help?”
