In many ways, my mind was still trying to play catch up with my heart. Jax was something I never saw coming. It was crazy to think that a few days ago we’d been strangers, but now the idea of having to be apart for a month crushed me. Regardless of what happened with our own music, I knew I would support his career ambitions because I never wanted him to be in the position I’d been in all those years ago. I never wanted him to feel he had to choose between me or his dreams.
“Liv, I need you to promise me something.” His eyes were partly cloudy with a chance of thunderstorms. “Promise me you’ll still be here for me to come back to. Please.”
“Jax, I promise. I’m going to still be here.” I cupped his face in my hands and brought his lips to mine.
“Yeah?” His voice was low and husky as he intertwined his fingers with mine.
“Yeah,” I said softly, standing on my tiptoes to kiss him. “But you better go before Brady kills us both.” I waved to Brady who was waiting in the car to give us privacy. He dipped his head in greeting before turning his attention elsewhere.
“I know.” Jax sighed, enveloping me in his embrace.
“Let me know when you guys get to Louisiana? And tell the guys we’ll miss them.”
“What about me?” A playful expression spread across his face. “Will you miss me?”
I grinned up at him, my arms encircled around his neck. “Mmm-hmm.”
“How much?”
“I donut think I can put it into words.” I smiled and bit my lip.
“Now you’retryingto kill me, huh?” He laughed and lifted me off the ground, bringing us nose to nose. “I’m going to miss you so much.” He set me back on my feet and kissed me. It was one of those kisses that was a thousand kisses wrapped in one. It was soft and sweet, full of desire and longing. It was a hello and a goodbye all at once.
“I’ll miss you too.” He released me and trailed his hand down my arm, his fingers mingling with mine. He bounded toward Brady’s waiting SUV parked on the street.
I turned to go inside, afraid I would dissolve into tears if I watched his car pull away, but Jax’s voice caught my attention. “Turn around!” When I did, he was leaning out the passenger side window, making a heart shape with his hands. “You’re perfect, Olivia Sinclair!”
I blew him a kiss that he pretended to catch as Brady pulled the car away from the curb. Though I was sad to see him leave, I realized for the first time in a long time my heart was nothing but happy.
“What do youmeanyou didn’t have sex with him?” Ella asked incredulously later that morning, leaning against the counter at the bakery. She watched intently while I drizzled ganache over the top of some mint chocolate cupcakes. Katie was out front, loading the cases for the day, which left Ella to interrogate me. “Jax stayed with you forthree nights,and you didn’t have sex with him? Did you at leastwantto?”
“Of course I wanted to,” I cried. “Have youseenhim? He’s gorgeous. I’m just not there yet.”
“Honey, I feel like he could get you there.” She crossed her arms across her chest. “The man’s abs have abs for crying out loud.”
“That isnotwhat I meant.” I rolled my eyes.
“What is it then?” She moved so that she stood next to me, watching my every move. “He literally told you he’s falling in love with you, and Iknowyou’re falling for him.”
“I know, but I’m not ready.” I sighed. “Ella, I was with Ben for seventeen years of my life. He’s the only person I’ve everbeenwith.”
“I know, and what a snoozefest that was.” She snorted before looking up, catching the pained expression on my face. “Well, hewas, but that’s all the more reason you should have done it. You deserve to experience what it feels like to be absolutely worshipped.”
“Look, I want all of these things. I do,” I said. “but I’m not ready. There’s so much that goes into…that…I want to be ready.”
“Ohhhh… did you not have a bikini wax? I told you, you really have to keep that up. Otherwise, it turns into the swamp thing down there.”
I burst into laughter, placing the remainder of the ganache on the counter. “My affairs are in order down there,” I joked. “I don’t know. I’m just nervous. No other man has seen me naked in my entire life but Ben. It’s scary. Then there’s the age difference and the fact that he looks likethat.You should see him with his shirt off. His chest is so firm and smooth and…”
“And you want to lick that ganache right off of it?” Ella squealed.
“Pretty much,” I admitted. “I’m scared he’s going to be… disappointed. I don’t exactly have a rock hard body like he does.”
“And?”She propped her hand on her hip. “Don’t you dare forget that he’s the lucky one here, Liv. That’s the truth.”
“You are the ultimate hype woman.” I chuckled as I crossed to the sink to wash my hands.
“Damn right I am.” She nodded. “Which means I’m going to have to take you shopping for lingerie before you go visit him on the road. When do you leave? We could go this afternoon.”
