“Let’s get you to the bus.” He pulled me to him, kissing the top of my head. “You need to rest. Come on.”
I felt a pang in my heart as I wrapped my arm around his waist. What if I couldn’t give him what he wanted? What he deserved?
What if I wasn’t good enough?
A couple of moments later, we boarded the bus along with the rest of the guys, who all shared their concern over me. I tried to wave them off, but they fawned over me as though I was an injured animal.
After I managed to shake them off, Jax took me back to his bunk. “Do you mind if I lay down with you? I just want to hold you.”
I nodded. “I’d like that.” In fact, that was all I wanted. To wrap up in his arms for as long as possible because there may come a time when I no longer could.
We curled up in his bunk together, and I buried my face in his chest, his arms wrapped tightly around me. Jax’s words from the interview reverberated through my mind as he gently stroked my hair. I thought about the family he dreamed of having and wondered if I was selfish for holding on to him when I may never be able to give him what he deserved.
Chapter 22
Jax
We fell asleep in Chicagoand woke up in Louisville, our last stop before we’d drop Liv off in Nashville a couple of days later on our way to Atlanta. The band had some local press lined up at one of the big radio stations in the city before we were to head to soundcheck. I looked out from the booth to where Cash, Antoni, and Liv stood in the hall waiting. The DJs had already attempted to ask me about my ‘mystery girl.’ Once again, Luca jumped in and deflected the attention back to him, and I was grateful.
I’d barely said a word the entire interview, too distracted by the far off look in Liv’s eyes. She’d clung to me a little longer than usual in my bunk that morning. I asked her if she felt better, and she’d said she did, but I could tell she was lying by the way she smiled. It didn’t quite reach her eyes, as though she’d forced it for my benefit.
Cash had pulled me aside and asked if there was anything he could do to help cheer her up. Even he’d noticed something was off with her. She’d seemed to be enjoying her time on the road with me just days before. I knew she missed Ella and Grace, but she’d seemed happy. At least, I thought she had.
I asked if she was sure she was okay, and she’d said she was just tired and that sleeping on the bus was starting to get to her.
The band would be staying in their respective homes while we were in Louisville, which meant I would finally get to take Liv back to my apartment. I was a little nervous for her to see how empty it was, much like my life had been without her in it, but I’d been anxious to bring her here for some alone time. I was hoping that once we had a little time to ourselves, I could get her to open up about what was bothering her.
We stopped at The Palace for an early soundcheck, and then we were planning to take the afternoon to relax before heading back for the show. Sam Corbyn was wrapping up his soundcheck while we, minus Cash and Antoni, waited in the dressing room.
“How does it feel to be back knowing you’re about to move to Nashville?” Liv asked Dallas, taking a sip from her water bottle.
“It feels good,” he said. “Louisville will always be home, but Nashville has kinda captured my heart.”
“It’s captured mine too,” I said, leaning over to kiss Liv on the cheek.
Her eyes sparkled with warmth as she gazed up at me for one blissful second. But once the moment passed, the despondent look on her face returned.
There was a knock on the door, and Antoni entered with a flourish.
“Hey, Antoni. What’s up?” Luca asked.
“I’m here for Miss Liv.” Antoni strolled into the dressing room and reached out his hand to her. “You and I have a date at the spa, honey.” He gave a little shimmy, and I furrowed my brow in confusion. “Courtesy of Cash Montgomery and the dashing gentlemen of Midnight in Dallas.” That’s when I realized this must have been Cash’s doing, and I made a mental note to thank him later. “You need an afternoon of relaxation and beautification, and God knows I need less ofthis.” He looked back at me apologetically and made a sweeping gesture at us. “No offense to you boys. You’re great and all, but the bullshit is strong with y’all.”
“Antoni’s right,” I assured Liv as she looked back at me, her head tilted slightly in confusion. “You deserve some pampering.” The guys backed me up, encouraging her to go enjoy herself.
“Okay,” she said, letting Antoni take her hand. “Thank you, guys. This is very sweet of you.”
“Now, kiss lover boy goodbye because I’m not bringing you back till we’re all decked out for the show tonight.” Antoni propped a hand on his hip. “I took the liberty of calling up a couple of boutiques in town, and we’re getting something cute to wear for the hometown show.”
I stood and gave Liv one last lingering kiss.
“Alright. Save it for later, Romeo.” Antoni waved me off, pulling Liv toward the door. “She’s gonna look like the queen she is, and so will I.”
“Have fun,” I called, and Antoni pushed her out into the hallway. My heart sank as the door closed behind them. Our talk would have to wait.
After soundcheck, I was walking out the back door of The Palace with Brady when Cash jogged out to catch up with me.
“Hey, Jax,” he called. “Can I talk to you for a second?”
