The teasing facade fell from her face. “Really?”
I nodded, but before I could say anything else, Ella’s phone pinged with a notification, and her brow furrowed as she looked down at it. “Dammit. That’s Katie. She said the contractor left a message that he’s coming an hour early. We’re starting the renovations at the bakery this week.”
“We better get you back home so you can get to work.”
I put the car in reverse and set off in the direction of Ella’s house, and we settled into a thick silence. It wasn’t one of those comfortable silences either. It was the kind of silence akin to the concentration of chess players. Ella looked out the window while I tried to steal glances of her every time I turned or changed lanes. The entire time I’d known Ella, she’d always had plenty to say. She was usually the brightest and loudest woman in the room, which only made her silence that much more deafening.
By the time we reached her house, beads of sweat had formed along my hairline from the sheer effort it took not to reach across the seat and kiss her. As I parked the car, all I could think about was how much I wanted to walk her to her door and repeat every single moment from our night together when Ella’s voice broke the silence.
“I really like you, Cash,” she blurted, “and I’d be lying if I said I haven’t always had a little crush on you.” Relief bloomed in my chest. “The other night was… fucking amazing. But that’s why it can’t happen again.”
“What?” It felt like all of the air got sucked out of the car. The night we’d spent togetherhadbeen amazing, which was exactly why it needed to happen again.
“Cash, you’re Grace’s boss. You’re essentially Liv’’s boss.” She raked her hands through her hair. “But more than that, we’re kind of stuck together no matter what. We’re all part of this kind of extended family because of Jax and Liv. Could you imagine what would happen if this ended badly?”
“Yes, but—”
“We’d still have to see each other all the time.”
“Don’t you think—”
“Our friends would feel like they have to choose sides, and that would make everything awkward.”
“Ella, would you let me say something?”
“I can’t.” She shook her head emphatically. “Because you’re going to say something to try to change my mind, and I like you enough that I just might listen. But it’s a bad idea.” She seemed to be saying it more to herself than to me.
“I don’t think it is.”
“Cash...” Her eyes met mine, and there was heat in her gaze, but it was mixed with sadness. “If we got together and it didn’t work out, Grace would be devastated. She’s lost so much already, and she adores you. Having you in her life has been good for her. I never want that to stop, and I never want her to be in a position where she may feel she has to make a choice.”
I raked my teeth over my bottom lip, considering what she said. I understood the loss Grace experienced—I knew it intimately. Ella and I were like two sides of the same coin, and I wouldn’t hurt her or Grace for anything in the world. Perhaps I should have backed down, but something pushed me forward. A force I couldn’t quite pinpoint was whispering in my ear,‘fight for her.’
“I would never want that either,” I assured her. “Look, Grace is gone for the summer, and Liv and Jax have their hands full with the kids. Why don’t we just spend some more time together? We have the whole summer to explore what this is before we have to worry about the rest of it.”
“I don’t know.”
“Ella, if you can sit here and tell me that what happened the other night wasn’t… that you didn’t feel something—I’ll walk away right now. We can pretend it never happened. If not, I think we owe it to ourselves to see what this is. We don’t have to put any labels on it. We can even take it back a few steps and just keep getting to know each other.” It would be hard as hell to feel something that good and walk away, but I’d do it if I thought that’s what she really wanted.
She rubbed a strand of her golden hair between her fingers, appearing to mull over what I’d said. “Can I take a little time to think it over? These last few days have been a lot, and I can’t pretend that I’m not a wreck over Grace being gone. And the person I would normally lean on has her hands full with two new kids I haven’t even met yet.”
“I understand that. Take all the time you need.”
A soft smile spread across her face. “I better get going so I can get ready for work.”
I nodded, and she reached for the door handle to get out of the car, but I grabbed her hand. “Hey, Ella?”
“Yeah?”
“You can lean on me if you need to.”
She squeezed my hand and opened her mouth as though she were going to say something, but no words came. Instead, she nodded once before bounding up the walk and disappearing behind the front door.
Nine
Ella
The contractor,an older gentleman who called himself ‘Big Earl’ and smelled like sawdust and tobacco, was already waiting for me by the time I made it to work a little after ten a.m. We met out front so Katie and I could assist any customers who came in.
