“You’re right.” But was a change that could potentially wreck our friend group still good? It certainlyfeltgood but—
“So, what were you saying earlier? About what you did after the wedding?”
The doorbell dinged, and a customer walked in.
“Welcome to Livvie Cakes,” I greeted. “What can I do for you today?”
Saved by the bell. I needed to talk to someone, but Katie was stressed enough without me dumping my problems on her. I’d have to sort this one out on my own.
* * *
When I walkedthrough the door a little after eight that evening, I was met with an unflinching silence. I padded to the kitchen, turning the lights on as I went and tossed my purse and keys on the counter. My heart ached in the absence of Grace’s voice greeting me, asking what we were having for dinner. We’d only spoken briefly after she’d landed, and I missed her already.
I walked to the cabinet and pulled down a wine glass, placing it under the spout of a box of merlot. I filled it nearly to the brim, grabbed my phone from my purse, and dialed Liv as I headed to the living room.
By the time I’d flicked on the television and sank onto the sofa, Liv answered.
“Hey, Ella,” she answered, sounding exasperated.
“Hey, babe. I wanted to check in and see how the kids are doing.” I propped my feet on the soft cube in front of me. “Also, I don’t even know your kids names yet. Everything happened so fast, and we haven’t gotten to talk.”
Liv sighed. “I don’t want to get my hopes up by calling them ours. I’m afraid it won’t happen.”
“They steal your heart fast, don’t they?” I thought about the time I first held Grace in my arms, and my heart swelled.
There was a beat of silence on the other end of the phone. “They do. Their names are Chloe and Jonathan. Chloe is two and Jonathan is five.”
I squealed. “How are they adjusting so far?”
Her voice dropped to a hushed tone. “Chloe took to me quickly, but she cries constantly and wants me to hold her every minute she’s awake. The social worker said they think she’s really struggling with fear of abandonment. She and Jonathan have been in three foster homes in two years. He’s a sweet boy, but he doesn’t understand yet how to process his emotions. The smallest thing sets him off and sends him into a screaming, crying fit.”
I took a sip of my wine. “That’s a lot of change for anyone, let alone children so young. Having you and Jax will be good for them.”
“What if I’m not what’s best for them?” Liv asked.
“Sweetheart, you have the most important thing they need, and that’s love,” I reminded her. “Everything else comes with time. I can’t tell you how many times I felt like I wasn’t going to be enough for Grace.”
“Shit,” she said. “I completely forgot to call Grace this morning. How are you holding up?”
“I’m—”
I heard the shrill sound of a baby crying on the other end of the phone. “Dammit. That’s the monitor. Chloe just woke up. I’m sorry, Ella. Can I call you back?”
“Sure thing. I love—”
Before I could finish my sentence, the line went dead. I clutched the phone to my chest and took a long drink of wine. With a heavy sigh, I rose to my feet and began to move through the house. The living room was small and cozy with a purple couch Grace, Liv, and I had found at a yard sale five years ago. One wall was covered in a bright, floral wallpaper. We called it an accent wall, but the truth was that after covering the one wall, Grace and I had thrown the rest of that shit in the trash. Wallpaper really should come with a warning label—may cause you to question all your life choices.
I lingered in the hallway and took in the lifetime of pictures that decorated the corridor in colorful collages of frames Grace and I had put together over the years. There were pictures from birthdays and Christmases past, trips we’d taken over the years with Liv, and a school photo of Grace for every grade from kindergarten through her senior year.
My favorite photo was at the center of them all. It was from Grace’s fourth birthday party. Craig and I held Grace between us—the center of our universe. You’d never know from our smiles that we’d barely made the mortgage that month or that my parents had paid for the birthday cake in front of us. We didn’t have a lot, but we had each other.
Until we didn’t.
My gaze shifted down the hall toward the door to Grace’s bedroom. I could still see Craig carrying her atop his broad shoulders and hear their laughter echo off the walls.
But that’s all they were now… echoes.
I gulped down a swallow of wine and the lump that had formed in my throat. It was quiet—too quiet, and my world that had at one time felt so loud and full of life had suddenly fallen silent.
