“Poor Sam.” Liv shook her head. “And Grace. I’m so thankful she’s okay. How’s Ella holding up?”
“As well as could be expected,” I said. “She’s shaken up.”
She squeezed my arm. “And how are you?”
I paused for a moment, unsure how to answer her question because I felt like I was falling apart. “I’m okay. It’s just hard not to think of how differently this could have ended up.”
“But it didn’t,” she insisted. “That’s what matters.” Her eyes filled with tears. “I want you to know how sorry I am about how I acted last night. I’m so thankful Ella has you to lean on. And Grace too. They’re lucky to have you in their lives.”
I wanted to respond. To tell her that maybe I wasn’t the man she thought I was. To confess how shattered I felt seeing Grace in such a helpless state. To attempt to assuage my guilt for not being strong enough to stand at Ella’s side. Instead, I didn’t say anything at all. There was no fight and no flight. I was merely frozen.
“You want to head back inside?” Liv asked finally.
“You go ahead,” I said. “I, uh… I need to grab my phone out of the car.”
“Okay.” She gave me a sympathetic smile. “I’ll see you in there.”
As I watched her disappear inside the building, I wondered how lucky Ella and Grace really were when I was outside trying to console myself instead of being the man they could count on.
Twenty-One
Ella
I watchedGrace’s chest rise and fall, thankful for every breath she took. I knew we’d been lucky. Most kids didn’t escape their youth without at least one broken bone or a hospital stay, though, I’d hoped somehow that Grace would. She’d been through enough pain. Didn’t she deserve a pass? Didn’t kids who lost a parent deserve to miss some of these other painful rites of passage?
“My sweet, sweet girl.” I placed my hand over hers, gently rubbing her fingers with the pad of my thumb. I thought about all the times Craig and I had counted her little fingers and toes when she’d been born, when they were nothing more than tiny, wrinkly nubs.
Her fingers were long and elegant now. I knew she wasn’t a kid anymore, but she would always be my baby. Salty tears dripped down my face and onto my lips. I wondered where Cash was and said a silent prayer that Sam would be okay. He was a sweet kid, and I had a feeling Grace cared about him more than she’d ever admitted to me. If anything happened to him…
No. I wouldn’t even let myself think about it.
Broken bones could be healed with surgery or casts made of plaster, but broken hearts were different.
“Ella.” I was so deep in thought I didn’t even hear the door open.
As soon as I saw Liv I was on my feet throwing my arms around her, sinking into the comforting warmth of my best friend’s embrace. “You’re here.”
“Where else would I be?” she asked, smoothing my hair with her hands. She rocked me back and forth as I cried. “It’s going to be okay. Everything is going to be alright.”
“I’m so sorry, Liv,” I cried into her hair.
“I’m sorry too,” she said softly in my ear. “I love you so much.”
“Mama?” Grace’s voice was gravelly and small.
I turned and closed the distance between us, folding her hand in mine. “Hey, honey. I’m right here. How are you feeling?”
She groaned. “Everything hurts.”
“Hey, sweetie,” Liv said, going to her other side and squeezing her hand. “It sure is good to see you.”
“Aunt Livvie.” Grace gave a faint smile.
“Can I get you anything, baby?” I asked, desperate for anything I could do that could provide her some comfort or relief.
Grace shook her head.
“How about something to drink?” I asked. “Or some ice chips?”
