“Theairport?” she exploded. “Are you fucking kidding me right now, Cash? Gee, thanks for stopping by as you hightailed it out of town. You didn’t think to call or send me a text or a fucking telegram to let me know you were going to leave?”
“I was going to tell you,” I said.
“Oh yeah?” she asked incredulously. “And what exactly were you going to tell me?”
My throat was thick, and I could feel the waves pulling me under. They took my breath and my words away.
“That’s what I thought.” Her face crumpled as she turned away from me.
“Ella, wait,” I croaked out. “Please.”
She whirled around to me with tears streaming down her face, her blue eyes turned to ice. “You know, Grace told me what she said to you. That you felt like a dad to her.” Her voice was frayed around the edges, as though the pull of a tiny thread might cause her to completely unravel. “Her dad never would have left her. Not if he’d been given a choice.”
I felt like I’d been punched in the gut.
“We’re done here,” she spat, delivering her final blow. “Have a nice trip or whatever.”
The waves pulled me down further and further until I couldn’t breathe. Ella was gone.
Twenty-Seven
Ella
My heart pounded so hardI felt it in my fingertips, pulsing against the steering wheel as I started back toward home. Cash was really getting on a plane to God-knows-where, leaving Nashville, leavingme, without so much as an explanation. He hadn’t even bothered with a half-hearted break up text. Hell, even Joe Jonas left Taylor Swift a shitty twenty-seven second voicemail. Did I not even deserve that much? Because I know damn well that my daughter did. She deserved so much more.
I deserved so much more.
A horn blared at me, wrenching me from my thoughts as I attempted to get in the turning lane and accidentally cut someone off. I needed to pull over. Hadn’t Grace and Sam just been in a freaking car accident? I needed to not be reckless.
I drove a little further until I found a coffee shop with a relatively empty parking lot. My fingers gripped the steering wheel as I carefully pulled into the lot and cut the engine. At least the shop would lend me a cover story for where I’d been when I returned home with coffee and breakfast for Grace and Sam.
Tears fell from my eyes as I let out a scream that would have surely frightened any passersby if I’d had my windows down. Fury and sadness danced around inside me in some sort of deranged tango that made my entire body tremble. Where on earth was he going? How could he end things without at least talking to me first? It was the first time I’d let someone in since losing Craig, and he of all people knew what a big deal that was. How could he justleave?
Was he going to some tropical location with sandy beaches and sparkling oceans, leaving us behind to grieve his absence? That didn’t sound like something he would do.
What was I going to tell Grace? I couldn’t break her heart like this, especially not while she was still recovering. I had to shield her from this pain a little longer. I had to somehow pull myself together for her. I couldn’t let her and Sam bear witness to me having a total meltdown after what they’d just been through.
I pictured my sweet daughter who’d already lost enough for a lifetime, and my blood raised to a boil. Grace would be losing the man who’d become a father figure to her, but she’d also be faced with a really uncomfortable professional situation. Would she feel she needed to quit her job? She loved her job. She loved him.
I was hurt. No, fuck that. I waspissed.Okay, I was hurt too. How could he do this to me? Tous? Hadn’t he told me he loved me on the phone the day of the accident? Maybe it really had been a heat of the moment thing. But that didn’t feel right either.We have something special, something real… right?
Liv and Derek knew Cash well, and they had seen the connection between us. They’d each told me on different occasions that they thought Cash had felt something for me for a long time. If that were true, why would he just leave when we’d finally found our way to each other?
My mind spiraled to what this split would do to our family of friends. Would they feel the need to choose sides? Would Grace and I lose more than Cash because of this?
Rage burned inside me.
“I hate him,” I said out loud to absolutely nobody. “I hate Cash Montgomery.”
Except I didn’t hate him. Not even a little bit.
Sure, I was furious. But I was also of the belief that it was possible to love people even when we didn’t like them very much. Even when we were pissed off and they’d hurt us. At that moment, I definitely didn’t like him.
But I loved him.
I tilted the rearview mirror so that I could see my reflection. My eyes were swollen, and my face was splotchy.You’ve got to keep it together, Ella.I took a few deep breaths in an attempt to center myself.You don’t get to fall apart right now.I pulled my purse onto my lap from the passenger seat and rifled through its contents for my makeup bag.
Sweet Jesus, I look like the sad heroine from a Nicholas Sparks movie.One where there definitely wasn’t a happily ever after. All I needed was a good thunderstorm to come along so the rain could mix in poetically with my tears.And scene.
