I nodded, a rush of sadness swallowing my heart.
“James will be here soon.” She gave me a friendly smile. “James is my husband. You’ll like him.” She paused for a moment, tilting her head to the side. “I’m sorry, dear. Did you say you were from the church?”
Just like that… the moment had passed, and it was too much. It was all too much.
“I love you, Mama,” I whispered as I stood, leaning to kiss the top of her head. “I need to go.”
“It was so kind of you to visit,” she said. “Please come back.”
“I will.” I forced a smile. “Soon.” I started toward the door, and I barely made it outside her room before I fell apart all over again. I darted past where Nicole was on the phone at the nurse’s station and got on the elevator, willing it to go faster.
When I finally stumbled outside the building, I was met with a steady downpour. I didn’t bother to run to my car to avoid the onslaught of rain. Instead, I let it wash over me. Every drop represented the hopes I had for the future—hopes that once seemed so solid but had dissipated into nothing.
There would be no pretty Nicholas Sparks ending. Cash wouldn’t be standing there waiting for me in the rain, waiting to tell me what a mistake he’d made. Those things only happened in the movies. In reality, I was left with nothing but my memories and a wet face as a reminder that Cash and I had happened at all.
I texted Derek when I got in my car to let him know I was on the way back, that he could go ahead and leave if he wanted to. I pretended it was under the guise of not inconveniencing him any longer than necessary, but the truth was, I didn’t want to be seen. I just had to pull myself together enough that I could get past Grace and Sam. I’d tell them I got stuck in the rain and needed to take a shower. And I’d stand under the stream and cry until I had nothing left.
As I made the short drive home, I realized I was no closer to figuring out how to tell Grace that Cash was gone. I was no closer to understanding how someone I felt this much for could choose to leave us.
My mother’s face appeared in my mind. I thought about her and the ways my dad kept her going while he was alive, and I wanted that too. But I felt more alone than ever.
By the time I pulled into my driveway it was dark and the rain had slowed to a sprinkle. I took a deep breath before getting out of the car and made the short walk to the door. When I approached the front stoop I realized Derek was sitting there waiting for me.
“Hey,” I said, as he rose to his feet. “Thank you again for staying. I feel bad taking up your evening. Are Grace and Sam okay?”
“Yeah,” he answered. “They’re in the kitchen eating some dinner.”
I nodded. “Good. I know Bradley Cooper loved having you here.”
He studied me through concerned eyes. “Is everything okay, Ella?”
“Of course,” I said too quickly.
He leaned against the wall. “Something dawned on me while I was here.”
“Oh?” I asked. “What’s that?”
“Where’s Cash?”
I shifted uncomfortably.
“Grace mentioned he’d gone out of town for something really suddenly,” he continued. “She said he left last night without telling her goodbye, and she texted him to ask if he needed help with anything, but he hasn’t responded to her at all. I think that’s weird.”
I groaned inwardly.Dammit, Grace.“I’m sure he’s just busy.”
“Look, Ella, I don’t want to overstep, but I guess I’m going to.” He moved closer to me. “You look like you’ve been crying, Cash is nowhere to be seen, and Grace hasn’t heard from him.”
My mouth was so dry that my tongue pricked at the roof of my mouth when I swallowed.
Derek’s eyes searched mine. “Ella, where is Cash?”
That was all it took for the dam to break.
I told him everything.
Twenty-Eight
Cash
