SIX
Luca
“Really,I can cancel game night. It’s not a big deal,” Katie said in the kitchen Sunday morning while Dallas made omelets with Emilia circling his feet. “I just wasn’t thinking.”
“You don’t need to cancel it because of me,” I told her, pouring myself a cup of coffee.
She leaned against the worn cabinets, a mug cradled in her hands. “But I know you’re not up for anything like that, and I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”
“Don’t worry about it,” I insisted. “I can hang out in the bedroom. I don’t want you guys rearranging your lives for me any more than you already have.”
“Okay.” Her brows threaded together with uncertainty. “But we’ll keep this one shorter. I can say I’m not feeling well.”
“Seriously, Katie.” I moved beside her and nudged her arm with my elbow. “Don’t do anything you wouldn’t normally do. I may not feel up to joining in, but I’m feeling better than I was a few days ago.”
Better was a bit of a stretch, but there had been improvement. Being around friends helped. On Friday I had my first virtual session with Lacey, and she set up an appointment for me to see a psychiatrist in Nashville early the following week. She thought I might benefit from starting medication, and at this point, I was willing to try anything to dig myself out of the dark hole I was in. One shovel at a time; one cup at a time.
“Besides, if we cancel, Caesar will be devastated,” Dallas said, sarcasm dripping from his voice. “He gets cranky if he doesn’t get his regular dose of McKenzie.”
My ears perked. “McKenzie from the restaurant?” I asked, and she nodded. “Is Caesar her boyfriend or something?”
Katie snorted. “Absolutely not.”
“Caesar wishes,” Dallas said, expertly flipping the eggs.
Katie took a sip of her coffee. “That crush goes one-way only.”
“McKenzie mostly just tolerates him,” Dallas added. “To be fair, I think she mostly just tolerates everyone. She’s not exactly a cuddly teddy bear.”
“Dallas,” Katie chided him.
“Okay, maybe a teddy bear made out of barbed wire and thorns,” he teased.
Katie swatted his arm.
“You know I love McKenzie. She was the only person who could help me pull my head out of my own ass back when I was being an idiot,” he said, recoiling. “But I’m not saying anything she wouldn’t say herself. The girl isn’t known for her warm personality.”
I stifled a laugh, thinking back on our brief conversation Thursday. That certainly was a way to describe her, but there was something else buried beneath her prickly exterior. When she thought she might’ve hurt my feelings, she seemed concerned. And when I told her I wasn’t okay, she’d said she wasn’t either. There’d been a lost look in her eyes, a sadness that resembled the one in my own.
“She’s plenty warm, Dal,” Katie said, her lips quirking. “She just likes giving you shit, and I can’t really blame her for that.”
“She seems cool,” I said, keeping my tone casual.
She also happened to be beautiful. Not the type of girl I normally would have gone for or taken home for the night, only to forget her name by morning. Then again, McKenzie didn’t strike me as a going-home-for-the-night kind of woman. While I normally preferred girls with long hair, hers was short, barely touching her shoulders. I’d also been known for choosing my conquests by the size of their tits or how short their dresses were. And whereas other women might have fallen over themselves trying to get my attention, she didn’t give a flying fuck.
Those other women were gorgeous. Works of art, painted to perfection, that could have been on magazine covers or fashion runways. So glamorous they almost didn’t feel real, and it occurred to me in that moment that maybe there was a reason I’d sought them out. If I felt they couldn’t possibly be real, then nothing we had could be either.
“She can come across a little standoffish at first,” Katie said. “But she’s so kind and caring once you get to know her. Truly, I don’t know what I’d do without her. She’s become such a good friend. I think you’d like her.”
There was something about McKenzie that intrigued me. She was beautiful in an unassuming way, like how an autumn sunset streaked the sky with all its magnificent colors without any pomp or circumstance. But there was more to it than that. Maybe it was her brusque attitude. Maybe it was the fact that she seemed like the type of person who was so impossibly themselves it was almost jarring. Like seeing a polar bear traipsing down I-65 south. We read about them and knew they existed, but it’s not like we saw them in the flesh, let alone just existing in the world like they weren’t some rare, miraculous creature.
“Yeah.” I gave a noncommittal nod. “Maybe.”
“Okay,” Katie said. “Well, if we’re doing this thing tonight, I should make a Trader Joe’s run after breakfast for some snacks. But you’re absolutely sure you’re okay with this?” She turned to me. “Because really, we can cancel it and order some Chinese.”
“I’m sure,” I said. “Promise.”
She and Dallas started listing off the things they would need for the evening, but I found my mind drifting back to McKenzie. Maybe I’d find a reason to come out of my room tonight after all, even if just for a minute.
