“Yeah, I’m really enjoying it.” I glanced around the cozy, eclectic living room of what McKenzie referred to as “the hobbit house.” “It’s a nice place.”
“And you’ve been writing,” she said as though I’d done something much greater than putting pen to paper.
“It’s not a big deal. Besides, I’m not even sure how good any of it is.” That wasn’t entirely true. McKenzie had told me it was something special, and I knew she was speaking the truth.
“It doesn’t matter if it's good,” Lacey reminded me. “It matters that you’re being vulnerable—that you’re stepping out of your comfort zone and finding ways to cope. Neither of those are easy tasks. You’re doing great.”
I gave her a sheepish smile. “Thank you.”
“It sounds like this new girl you’re seeing has been a good influence on you,” she said. “She sounds supportive.”
“Oh, uh, McKenzie?” I asked, heat rushing to my cheeks. “We’re just friends.”
Lacey arched a brow, then nodded. “Okay.”
“What was that face for?”
“There was no face,” she insisted.
“There was, in fact, a face.”
She tilted her head, and even through the laptop, I could feel her eyes burning into me.
“The way you described McKenzie made it sound like there was a bit more going on,” she explained. “You seem to really care about her.”
My stomach twisted. Damn, I knew she was a therapist, but was I really that transparent?
“Well, of course I do,” I said. “We’re friends.”
Lacey studied me through thousands of tiny pixels. “Is it possible that’s what you’re calling it because you’re afraid to admit you feel something more for her?”
I cleared my throat, rubbing my thumb along my jaw. There was no denying I had feelings for McKenzie. But it was so foreign, so completely different from anything I’d ever experienced that it scared the shit out of me.
“It’s okay to be scared,” Lacey added. “This is uncharted territory. You’re not used to letting people in, and there’s a big difference in allowing someone into your orbit as a friend and potentially seeing them as something more.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“If you open yourself to something more than friendship, you run a greater risk of getting your heart broken,” she said gently, her kind gaze fixed on me through the screen. “Of being abandoned.”
Her words were a punch to my gut. It wasn’t a fear I’d given voice to yet, but it was there, bubbling beneath the surface. Lacey knew a lot about my childhood and how much of my life I’d spent feeling unwanted. My friends now had become like family but those friendships had formed over many years. I’d only really known McKenzie for a few weeks, but I’d met her in the middle of one of the darkest times in my life. Despite that, she’d shined her light on me and helped me find my way.
“I’m not even sure she feels the same,” I said. It was the closest I was willing to come to an admission.
“Have you told her that you see her as more than a friend?” she asked.
I snorted. “No.”
“Do you want to tell her?” she countered.
I slid my tongue over my teeth, considering what she said. Yes and no. I did, but I was fucking terrified.
“I’m not going to pressure you one way or another,” Lacey continued. “Only you’ll know when and if you’re ready for something like that. But there could be an opportunity for you two to share something special.”
My heart jumped into my throat. “What if she doesn’t feel the same way?
“That’s certainly a risk,” she said. “And only you will know when you’re ready to take that chance. Life is full of uncertainty. Sometimes you end up going through parts of it alone, but there’s also a possibility you’ll find someone who will take your hand and walk beside you.”
I chewed on her words for a moment. “That scares the shit out of me.”
