“Before you got sick that night, you tried to kiss me. Actually, you kind of wanted to do more than that.”
Heat burned up my neck and into my cheeks.
“Oh God.” I buried my face in the pillow. “Triedto? Does that mean I attempted and failed?”
“It means I stopped you,” he confessed. “But—”
“Are you trying to kill me?” I cut him off, my voice muffled by the memory foam. “Why are you telling me this?”
He chuckled softly. “Look at me.”
“Sorry, I can’t. I’m busy trying to melt through this bed and into the floor.”
He laid his head next to mine, pushing my hair out of my face.
“Look at me,”he said again, and I did.
“I told you no, but it wasn’t that I didn’t want you,” he began. “Because believe me, I did. In fact, I specifically said that I did, but that when we finally had sex, I wanted you to be able to remember it.”
“Wait.” I raised up on my elbows, my mouth falling open. “You said that?”
He bit his lip. “I probably shouldn’t have said it out loud but—”
“I remember that.” I gasped. “But I was so fucking toasted, I thought Idreamedit.”
He propped himself up so his lips were only inches from mine.
“So,that’swhy you looked all hot and bothered the next morning.” He raised his brows at me. “I’m pretty sure you woke up moaning my name.”
I punched him in the shoulder. “AndI’mpretty sure I’ve watched enough true crime to kill you and make it look like an accident.”
He laughed and pulled me into his arms. “Come here.”
“You could’ve let me continue to live in ignorance, you know,” I whispered against his neck. “That would’ve been the polite thing to do.”
“But then you wouldn’t know how long I’ve wanted you,” he said, his tone sincere, tender. “Or that you had me so hot for you that I had to um…take matters into my own hands in your bathroom while you were asleep.”
My eyes went wide as I sat up to look at him, my lips curling into a grin. “You didwhatnow?” I asked.
He winced. “Yeeeah. I probably shouldn’t have admitted that. But I needed you to know…I’ve wanted you this whole time.”
“Hold up,” I said, attempting to piece together the order of events. “This was…this was evenafteryou saw me puke my guts up? I was disgusting.”
He touched my nose with his finger. “Even when you’re gross, you’re beautiful.”
“That is weirdly romantic.” I laid down with my head on his shoulder.
“So, how was I in your dream?” he asked with a smug lilt. “Was I good?”
“Did you think about me while you were playing the five knuckle shuffle in my bathroom with Palmela Handerson?” I shot back, dissolving into a fit of giggles.
“Fuck yeah, I did,” he said, his shoulders shaking.
When our laughter slowed, he tightened his arms around me and kissed the top of my head.
“You’re better than any fantasy I’ve ever had,” he whispered against my hair. “I never dared to dream as big as you.”
My breath caught in my throat. His words made it sound like he was referring to something much bigger than the amazing sex we’d had. Part of me wanted to ask what he meant, but I didn’t want to jinx it, so instead, I nestled closer, listening to the sound of his heartbeat. This was a dream I never wanted to wake up from.
