“No.” I shook my head. “That’s a last resort. I think I can manage. Are you going to be able to handle the counter and the coffee bar on your own?”
Her wide-eyed expression told me I had a better chance of winning the lottery.
“I’ll ask Abbey for help if I need it,” she said.
I released a slow exhale. “Okay.” I gestured toward the tray of freshly iced chocolate raspberry cupcakes in front of me. “Take these up front and put them in the case, will you?”
She stepped closer, slowly reaching her hands out to take the tray. My intrusive thoughts begged me to yellBOO, but I couldn’t afford to be down another staff member. With the cupcakes in hand, she scurried toward the door.
“Let me know what Tyler and Fallon say,” I called after her.
“I will,” she said as she disappeared to the front of the restaurant.
This was fine. Worst-case scenario, I’d have to pull an all-nighter to prep for Kia’s party and work through the day tomorrow. Sleep was for the weak. Or for the people not freaking out about their boyfriend going on tour in a few months.
I wasn’t a freaking out kind of woman. I’d spent the entirety of my adult life not getting attached to people because I hated the idea of allowing myself to depend on someone only for them to leave. But that was exactly what I was doing.
Luca had been so wrapped up in press opportunities the last several days that he hadn’t even caught on that I was struggling—with work or with what our new normal would soon become: extended time away from each other…opposing schedules…lives that were growing apart instead of together. I felt myself beginning to withdraw. He hadn’t noticed, and I definitely hadn’t told him. The last thing I wanted to be was a needy girlfriend.
He’d gone to New York for a couple of days earlier that week for back-to-back interviews about his musical comeback, while I fell asleep every night on the couch in my work clothes. Part of me was dying to talk to him, to tell him how much these changes were affecting me. That’s what grown-ups did in grown-up relationships. But I also knew I had to figure out how to deal with it on my own. I’d become comfortable having him to myself, but my world was about to be turned upside down. I couldn’t just call him anytime I wanted while he was on the road when I had a bad day or felt insecure. What was he going to do? Answer his phone in the middle of a show and saySorry guys, I gotta take this?
I shook my head, desperate to scatter the anxious thoughts threatening to take control of my brain as I moved to the other side of the kitchen where I kept the files for our catering events. Kia’s was right on top, so I opened it and scanned the list I’d already made of everything that needed to be done. I just needed to focus. This was my job. I was a professional, damn it.
And an expert at avoiding anything that might hurt me.
TWENTY-SIX
Luca
The last twoweeks had been a whirlwind. After my show at The Bluebird, the world suddenly became interested in Luca Sterling again. But for once it wasn’t for being the wild card of Midnight in Dallas. It wasn’t because I'd done anything wrong—it was because I’d finally done something right.
Grace was overwhelmed with interview requests from outlets that wanted to talk with me, especially once we released the news that the new album would drop at the end of April with a tour following over the summer.
I quickly learned I wouldn’t be able to fly under the radar anymore when I was out in public after I got bombarded at LaGuardia, then again when Grace and I stopped for a coffee after my chat withGood Morning America. People kept coming up to me, sharing stories about their own struggles. And I had to admit…I liked it. For the first time, I felt like I was doing something meaningful with my life.
By the time Saturday evening rolled around, I was back at the hobbit house enjoying a little downtime while McKenzie catered a party at her friend Kia’s boutique. I’d hardly seen her since I’d gotten back from New York. There’d been some staffing issues at the restaurant, so she’d been working crazy hours to prepare for the event while also keeping the business afloat. She’d even opted to stay at her place Friday night because she had to work so late. I offered to drive to her because I still wanted to see her, but she insisted she was tired and needed to crash.
It was a little before nine, and I was lying on the couch, absentmindedly scrolling on my phone while a movie played in the background. I toggled over to the Instagram app and swiped through my newsfeed until I was staring at a picture taken of me at The Bluebird withIs Luca Sterling Faking Depression for Likes?printed over it in bold lettering. The caption below urged readers to check out the full story on the blog.
What the fuck?My throat went dry, and my blood turned cold. I checked the account that posted it, and it was a Nashville-based gossip column with over 200,000 followers calledThe Party Buzz.In comparison to a lot of media organizations, that wasn’t a lot, but if they put something like this out, anyone could get a hold of it.
I released a slow breath. It was probably some internet troll who didn’t take mental health seriously. I almost didn’t look. In the past, I wouldn’t have, because back then, I told myself I didn’t care. But my trembling fingers moved over the screen almost of their own accord, unable to simply let it go.
The post was easy to find. It was right there on the landing page of the website.
Is Luca Sterling capitalizing on fans’ empathy to hype up his new album? Local singer/songwriter, Tate McCreedy, thinks so. McCreedy sentThe Party Buzza video that depicts Sterling up to his old antics, shoving him into a wall. “He was clearly drunk. I asked to take a photo with him, and he could have just said no, but he pushed me. Honestly, I was scared. He was belligerent, and he’s not a small guy. It just sucked because he’s my idol, you know? I’m his biggest fan, or at least I was,” McCreedy told us. “The girl that was with him looked scared too. You just never know what’s going on behind closed doors.”
While the video captured by McCreedy’s friend did not show the conversation they had, Sterling’s aggression was abundantly clear. You then see the A-lister storm out with his female companion by his side. McCreedy says the entire incident was a blessing in disguise because it inspired him to write his new track “Not Who I Thought You Were,” which is out now on Spotify. Click below to watch the altercation, then sound off in the comments to let us know what you think. Is Luca Sterling using his mental health as a sales gimmick?
My stomach sank as I hit play, watching the short clip. Out of context, it looked pretty damning. Of course, there was no proof to show I’d been perfectly nice to the asshole and thathe’dbeen the drunk one. He hadn’t wanted to accept no for an answer when I told him I didn’t want to take a photo, and when McKenzie intervened, he acted likehewas going to get violent withher. But the post painted him a victim and even brought McKenzie into it as though she’d been afraid of me.
There were already over a hundred comments, but I stopped reading after the first three.
I fucking knew it. #CancelLucaSterling
What kind of a lowlife do you have to be to use mental health as a marketing scheme?
Did you guys see that the local news picked it up? They’re running the story at nine.
