Lindsey reaches for my hand,and I give her an encouraging smile to conceal the tremble of my own lips.
The fire marshal leads us to Oliver’s room, deep in the bowels of the hospital. I hate this place so much. Nurses are millingaround and people are talking softly on cell phones outside of closed doors. So many stories are taking place in this building, each on a different page. Some are just beginning while some are coming to an end. Some will even stop in the middle of a sentence. Those books will be closed and put away, only to become one of the many tales that linger in these halls. The greatest story of my life ended here, within these walls. The echoes of my worst moments exist here.
Despite the grim scene I witnessed then—the paramedics shouting orders and statuses I didn’t understand—I still held hope. I told myself that miracles happened all the time, and that if anyone deserved one, it was my Henry.
I’m so sorry, Mrs. Haggerty. We did everything we could.
“Here we are,” Joe says once we reach Oliver’s room. He knocks before sticking his head in. “Beckett, you’ve got some visitors.”
Joe holds the door and nods. “I’ll be outside if you need anything.”
“Thanks, Joe,” Lindsey says as we enter the room.
“Hey.” Oliver’s voice is a bit scratchy, but he still greets us with a smile, his gaze focused on Lindsey. “Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes? I’m sorry about our date.”
“That’s the last thing I’m worried about,” Lindsey says, rushing to his side. “How are you feeling?”
I stand back to give them a moment. My heart aches, seeing Oliver in that bed—seeing Lindsey bear witness to that, knowing the turmoil her heart is going through.Love comes at a cost that someone must pay.God knows, I’ve paid dearly, but if I had it to do all over, even knowing how it would all end, I’d still do it in a heartbeat. The cost was steep, but the life Henry and I had together was worth every penny.
But is it a price I’m willing to pay again with someone else?
“MJ, I’m so glad you came,” Oliver says, reaching a hand out to me.
I step forward and take it, giving it a squeeze. “AndI’mglad you’re okay.”
“It’s nothing, really,” he insists. “It could have been much worse.”
My daughter’s back stiffens where she’s seated on the edge of the gurney.
“I’m just grateful everyone made it out safely,” he continues, “and I’ll be able to return to work in a couple days.”
Lindsey wavers. “Are you sure you ought to go back so soon? Maybe you should take some time off. Make sure you’re feeling a hundred percent.”
“After I get some rest and fluids, I’ll be just fine,” he says. “This kind of thing is par for the course, and what I experienced tonight was minor. The guys got me out of there fast.”
Lindsey’s jaw tightens, and I know she’s imagining a future time when they don’t.
“Promise.” He reaches for my daughter’s hand and threads his fingers through hers, as though he can see the thoughts flashing through her mind. “I’m not going anywhere, okay?”
She nods like she believes it, but I know she doesn’t. Because she can’t. BecauseIcan’t. Life doesn’t work that way.
I lean forward and pat Oliver’s shoulder. “I’m sure you’re exhausted. Maybe we should let you get some rest.”
“I can stay,” Lindsey offers. “In case you need anything.”
He touches her cheek. “You should go on home with your mom. It’s late, and I’m afraid I won’t be very good company anyhow, unless you like watching people sleep with the TV on. I’ll text you as soon as I get discharged.”
“I’ll come back and take you home in the morning,” she says.
“Joe and a couple of the guys are going to break me out of here tomorrow,” he jokes, but Lindsey remains stone-faced.“They need you at the clinic. I’ll be okay. Maybe you could come by my place after work?”
“Sure,” Lindsey answers.
“Let me know you made it home, okay?” he says to Lindsey.
“I will.” She pinches her lips shut like she’s trying to trap her emotions inside.
My mind drifts to our conversation in the bathroom. Did I say the right things? Maybe I said toomuch. I didn’t mean to add to her already mounting fears. I want my daughter to have someone to spend her life with, but I don’t want her to fall in love and have regrets one day if the cost becomes too great. Whether she chooses to walk this path with Oliver or not needs to be her decision. Part of making a choice like that is understanding the risks.
