“I think I’m starting to go into coffee withdrawal,” he says, looking back at where I’m leaning against the back of a kitchen chair.
“Yeah,” I mumble, searching for something else to say.
He shakes his head before turning back to the kettle. When it’s done, he grabs the mugs of tea, motioning for me to follow him before resuming his seat in the chair.
As I slump on the couch, he studies me for a few minutes before setting his cup on the table. I see him physically settle deeper into the chair before moving his gaze back to me.
“So,” he begins. “What the fuck is going on? I hear Sophia is coming for a brief visit. The next thing I know, you’re calling me, wondering if we’ve heard from her. At midnight, Teddy. You scared the shit out of your sister-in-law.”
“I’m sorry,” I mumble.
Grayson just holds his hand up to shut me up.
“Then Izzy gets a call from Soph saying she’s gotten a promotion and leaves that night for Syria but refuses to answer anything else? Next thing I know, I find myself on a plane on the way to England, with four kids, to figure out what shit my little brother has gotten into this time. It’s a good thing Matthew knows our business as well as I do or I would have been sunk.”
He stops his tirade to wait for me to answer. I sit still, considering my hands for a moment. I don’t want to look up and face that scowl looking back at me.
“I can sit here all night,” Grayson growls at me.
I take a deep breath then start telling him the whole ridiculous story, starting from the moment I first saw her outside the restaurant. Bless Grayson, he listens to the entire story without once interrupting me. The only time I see him visibly flinch is when I mention that it was my first time and we didn’t use a condom.
When I’m done, Grayson stares out the window for several minutes.
“What do you want to do?” he asks quietly, cutting his eyes back to me.
“I don’t know. I want to go after her, but I also need to take your offer and come home.”
“Why do you need to take my offer?” he asks seriously, his eyes laced with concern.
“Grayson, how can you even ask that after everything you and Izzy have done for me? Without you, I’m positive I would have moved straight from the boy’s home to the pen.” My argument fades away as I see Grayson shaking his head.
“Stop, Teddy,” he says, holding up a hand. What he says next rocks me to my core. “You know we love you, right? I love you?”
When I don’t answer immediately, sadness fills his eyes.
“Teddy?”
“Yes Grayson, I know you love me.”
I’ve never really thought about it. Izzy says it all the time, but Grayson keeps his feelings tucked up close to his chest. In the recesses of my mind, I’m sure I knew he loved me but it always made more sense to a kid abandoned by his own parents that he took me in out of obligation.
As if he can read my mind, Grayson leans forward, his green eyes staring intently at me.
“I was never required to take you in. You were never an obligation, Teddy. I wanted you in my life because you are my brother. Good, bad, or ugly, I will always be the one person in your life that you can count on to love you. Not because of some fucked up family obligation, but simply because I love my little brother.”
I look up at the ceiling, willing the burning behind my eyes to stop. Never in the eight years I’ve known Grayson have I cried in front of him and I don’t intend to start now. When I have my emotions back under control, I look down, meeting his eyes again with a nod.
“Good. Now, there are some things you need to understand about love that took me until I was damn near thirty to get. My love comes without conditions. Nothing you do will ever change that. You are stuck with my old, sorry ass forever. Understand?”
I look up at him, tears threatening to fall again. Fucking bullshit emotions. Usually I can just throw out a few derogatory monikers at him, but something stops me this time.
“You don’t ever have to worry about some bullshit notion of paying us back. We just want you to be happy. You need to find the path that’s right for you in life.”
“Grayson, I don’t know what to do,” I say with a whisper. “I’m so in love with her. She said she trusts me to make it right, to make us work, but I don’t know how.” I feel a tear slip onto the denim of my jeans.
Fuck it. If Grayson can cry when his son was born, then I’m man enough to handle this.
“Well, for fuck’s sake, I figured that much. Why do you think I’m here? It’s not like we couldn’t all see this happening eventually. You’ve been mooning over her since puberty.”
