Taking him in from head to toe, I notice that he has lost weight, but the muscle is still there shifting under his shirt as he turns to smile at me. Taking my tray of food over to his table, I slide in next to him.
“Good morning, sunshine.” He plants a kiss on me to the whooping of the men.
It doesn’t seem to have taken him very long to make friends here. I’m finishing my meal, listening to them tell stories, when my boss sticks her head in motioning for us to go.
“It’s been great hanging with you, but I think I’ll take my toys and head out. Stay safe,” Teddy says.
I roll my eyes at him as we walk out, Teddy getting heckled as he fist bumps the air.
“So Teddy? It’s a long way before we get to Kabul. Why don’t you explain how you found us?” Ms. Shieffer asks, distracting Teddy from shooting daggers at Jay as we climb into our ride. To Jay’s credit, he is desperately trying not to meet any of our eyes. I assume he would like to not test Teddy’s resolve, therefore, keeping his balls intact a little longer.
“Well, let’s see. It all started about five weeks ago. The girl of my dreams showed up in London, screwed my brains out, then disappeared again,” he starts as my mouth falls open.
My boss just laughs, motioning for him to continue.
“My brother showed up, threatened to kick my ass, inferred I was a pussy then made arrangements for me to fly to the Middle East. By the way,” he said, looking at me. “I passed all of my exams with first class honors before boarding the plane. My degree should be waiting at home by now.”
I grin, not surprised for even a second that he would finish at the top of his class.
Jay’s eyes have drifted over to me as he looks between us listening to the story.
“I know your eyes are not anywhere near her, cocksucker,” Teddy growls at Jay, not even missing a beat. Jay is smart enough to refocus on the floor.
I have no doubt Teddy would be only too happy to take another shot at him and apparently Jay doesn’t either.
“Where was I? Oh yeah. After landing in Tel Aviv, I hitchhiked to Syria, where I was told you had left already. I then caught a flight to Afghanistan just to find out you had left there. Decided to walk to the Iranian border, making it as far as some little village the first night. They agreed to put me up for the night in exchange for a ‘nominal fee,’” he says complete with air quotes.
Taking a drink out of his canteen, Teddy sends another glare at Jay.
“A couple of soldiers picked me up the second day and brought me to the base last night.”
“How did you get onto the military bases?” Ms. Shieffer asks incredulously. “You don’t just walk onto them, even here. Especially here.”
“Honestly, I have no idea. I guess I just have one of those faces,” he says with a wink at me. “So, back to my story. I finally found the correct base, found her boss who told me she was last seen in the mess tent, walked in and pounded some fucker I found with his hands where they had no business being.”
He kicks at Jay’s foot causing him to jump.
“Took a very long overdue shower, tried to feel up that girl in a tent full of men, was called out by a really large cockblock of a soldier, and here I am.”
I am staring open-mouthed, once again, at Teddy when I hear my boss starting to laugh. Her laugh builds until she is doubled over.
“I believe you are an even better storyteller than I am,” she says, looking at Teddy, trying to wipe the tears out of her eyes. “Have you ever thought of going into journalism?”
“Teddy, what happened to going home to work with Grayson?” I ask, finally managing to form coherent thoughts again.
Everyone turns to Teddy waiting to hear the next part of our drama, but he just shrugs.
“Oh, did you hear Izzy is pregnant again?”
Yes, I know he’s deflecting my question, but for now, I’ll let it go.
“Izzy told me when I called her the last time we were in Kabul. What is with them? Can Grayson not learn how to put on a condom?”
“That’s what I said! Then one of the girls asked what a condom was and things sort of went south from there.”
“I can’t believe you’re still alive.” I shake my head.
Teddy has always simply blurted out whatever pops into his mind.
