“What kind of decision?” Gran asked, frowning at me. “You aren’t going back, are you?”
I’d rather die than re-enlist. “No, nothing like that.” I fiddled with my fork. “It’s…personal.” A decision I’d never tell my grandmother that’s for sure—it’d probably kill her.
“What is with you Hayes children?” Louise grumbled and slapped a quarter on the table.
I frowned at it. A quarter? “What is that for?”
“Flip it.” My gaze darted from the coin to Louise, confused. “Heads is yes and tails is no,” she explained as if I were a moron. “I’ve decided all kinds of things with it. It works. Tells ya watchya really want.”
“That seems…childish,” Beau said, staring at the quarter.
Louise smacked the back of his head, and he hissed, rubbing where she struck him. “This quarter’s the only reason you’re with Claire, you little shit.”
“What?She flipped acoinover me?” I bit back my laugh. It was pretty ridiculous.
“Tess is the only one of you who hasn’t flipped this damn coin over love,” Louise said, holding it out for me to take. “I lost fifty bucks to that one over it.” She pointed to Gran, who was sporting a bashful smile.
I scoffed. “This isnotabout love.” Love wouldn’t be anywhere near this. This would just be sex. And knowing Delilah, the sex would be nothing short of as wild as she is. Just the thought had me reaching for my water, my mouth dry.
Gran clucked her tongue, looking skeptical. “Then all the more reason for you to flip it,” she said.
I sighed, taking the quarter. “Only because I love you, Gran,” I murmured, and flipped it.
But once it was spinning in the air, my chest tightened, and my heart seized, hoping it came down with—“Heads,” Louise announced.
Heads meant yes. Heads meant asking Delilah if the offer was still on the table.
Relief hit me so hard I was dizzy with it. I ran my clammy hands down my thighs, my knees bouncing beneath the table.
“Is that what you wanted?” Beau asked, glancing between the coin and me.
My voice came out hoarse. “Yeah.” I nodded, wondering how I was going to actually do it. Would Delilah even entertain it after I walked out on her twice?
There was only one way to find out. As Danny would’ve said, it was time for me to ‘buck the fuck up’ and ask.
Except when I made it back to Golden Circle, I was too big a coward to go find her right away. I did everything I could to delay it. I continued with the fence posts, mucked stalls for Rhett, a new ranch hand, helped Beau cut cattle, and then took the longest shower of my life.
It wasn’t until sunset that I started looking for Delilah. And I almost gave up until I saw Willow, her favorite horse, in the south pasture tied to the post next to the trail that led to the creek.
I rode over there, my muscles tight with nerves. After tying Birch up next to Willow, I gripped his lead with a shaking hand, lowering my head to his shoulder. I couldn’t believe I was doing this. I ran my hand along his flank, feeling the slow expanse and release of his ribs, using the grounding method Delilah taught me in therapy.
A pathetic, dry laugh left me. She was the one who had me this fucked up in the first place.
If I could jump out of a plane thirty thousand feet in the air into hostile territory without an ounce of fear, I could have this conversation with Delilah…maybe.
Forcing myself to let Birch go, I made my way into the woods. My heart only pounded harder when Delilah finally came into view, heat pricking at the back of my neck as I traced her silhouette. She was sitting by a log at the water’s edge, her hairdown in a cascade of waves, like flames licking down her back. And it hit me how much I loved her hair. Especially when it was down.
A branch snapped beneath my feet. She whipped around, eyes wide. Something flickered in them when she saw me, something I couldn’t decipher. She was uncharacteristically silent, watching as I approached. I imagined this was what prey felt like when walking into the wolf’s den.
“What are you doing here?” she finally asked when I sat down on the log. She had her knees propped up, a notebook balancing on them, but I was too far away to see what she was writing.
I licked my dry lips. “I’ve been looking for you.”
There was a pause. “What for?”
This was it. The moment I became the worst brother on Earth. But seeing her now with the sun on her skin, highlighting her freckles and her forest eyes, I didn’t really care what kind of brother I was.
“I want to talk.” I pressed my hands into my knees, trying to find the words. “I was a weak piece of shit for bailing on you the other night, and I’m sorry. Truly. But if your…offer still stands, I’d like to take it.”
