We lay together for longer than I should’ve allowed, but I couldn’t bring myself to end this just yet. I knew once we left thisbed, I’d go back to being invisible to him, to nothing more than his sisters’ best friend. And I’d have to pretend that this wasn’t the best night of my life.
“Want to shower?” Emmett murmured with a kiss on my neck, pulling me from my thoughts.
He got up, and my hands curled in the blanket to stop myself from dragging him back here. I knew if I got in his shower with him, I’d end up doing something girlfriend material like washing his hair. I couldn’t risk it. I wouldn’t hurt myself further with something as intimate as that.
I gave him my back as I got up and tugged my jeans on. “I should go, actually.” The words tasted like ash as I forced them past my lips. I grabbed my shirt, not bothering with my bra.
“Oh.” My eyes squeezed shut at the disappointment in his voice. “Right…that’s…probably for the best.”
I snatched up my shoes in shaking hands and reached for the door. I had to get out of here before I crawled into his bed and never left.
“So that’s it? You’re just gonna leave without even looking at me?”
My eyes drifted shut, my heart cracking. Swallowing back the lump in my throat, I steeled myself and faced him. “I know it’s been a while for you, but hookups normally don’t shower together after,” I muttered, forcing my voice flat. “That’s not…what this is.”
I bit down hard on the inside of my cheek until I tasted copper, because if I didn’t, the truth was going to slip out. But this was what we agreed on. This couldn’t be more, no matter how much I wanted it. If I gave an inch now, my heart would take a mile.
Emmett’s expression hardened, and my eyes burned. “Well, don’t let me keep you then,” he sneered before going into the bathroom and slamming the door shut behind him.
I flinched at the finality of it and stared at the spot he had just stood in, my chin quivering. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.
Walking down the hall away from him felt like trudging through wet concrete, each step requiring more effort than the last. I couldn’t even look at the family portraits on the walls, unable to stomach the sight of seeing my friends’ smiling faces while their brother’s cum was slicking my thighs. Being with Emmett had been everything I’d ever wanted. But at what cost?
I could still feel him inside me, still taste his kiss, still hear the way he called me sugar and his sweet girl like it meant something real. God, I was going to hear those words in my sleep for the rest of my life. The reality was he ruined me, and not in the sexy way he threatened either, but in the marrow-deep way that raised the bar so high no other man would compare. I basically just doomed myself to a life of forever settling.
And I had to show up here tomorrow morning, see him and his sisters, and pretend he hadn’t. Pretend that my heart wasn’t in tatters. I shut the door to my Jeep, unsure how I’d face tomorrow, and the tears finally fell.
As I pulled out of Golden Bridle, I knew I was right; I was devastated now that it was over. But I would rather have ruined myself than kept watching him suffer.
6
Ch 5 - Emmett
I woke up before my alarm like always. But unlike every other morning, I wanted to linger in bed.
My sheets smelled like her.
I breathed in that sweet scent to the point that I could’ve sworn it was embedded in my lungs, forever a piece of me. And even though I should have wanted to scrub away any trace of her, I didn’t.
When I found Delilah by the creek yesterday, I braced myself for what today would bring—guilt, regret—but it wasn’t there. Not really. Yeah, I felt kinda bad since Delilah was close with all my sisters, but what concerned me more was that I wanted it again. I wantedheragain.
That thought had me shoving the heel of my palms into my eyes, trying to force myself to forget last night. I thought sleeping with her would open some kind of magical pathway, but the only road it opened led directly to her. But she wasn’t an option to me, not anymore. It’s what we agreed on. One time and one time only. No strings, just sex.
I ran a hand over my face, sighing. Flashes of her hair fanned out on my bed while she looked up at me with hooded, blissed-out eyes blasted through my memory. My name on her lips in a broken plea rang in my ears.
My dick twitched in my boxers, straining for attention. I couldn’t even remember the last time I woke up with a persistent hard-on like this.
“You’re a fucking idiot,” I muttered under my breath and forced myself to get moving, ignoring the problem between my legs. If I got the horses taken care of now, then I could spend the rest of the day far away from the stables andveryfar away from Delilah when she showed up.
The stables and lodging for Freedom Reins were a quick walk from my house, since the old Golden Bridle barn was renovated. The stables were brand new with state-of-the-art facilities and were able to house fifteen horses. Some of them were ours, and some were Cavendish Equestrian Academy’s, a solid mix of Quarter Horses, Draft Horses, and Haflingers.
Which is what I found when I took one step out of my house.
All the therapy horses were in my goddamn yard.
I looked around, confused. There was nothing but early dawn mist and horses. “What the…?”
I jogged down the steps, grabbed Birch up by the mane, and walked him back to the stables. “How did you get out?” I asked as if he’d answer.
