I couldn’t help but laugh through my tears. “You have a really funny way of showing it.”
She wiped her cheeks before pulling me into a hug. “Please forgive me. We can’t do this without you—Ican’t. You’re my sister just as much as Savannah and Tess are, and I need you.”
I wanted to stay mad. God, I wanted to. Anger was easier than this ache in my chest. But the way her voice cracked when she called me her sister knocked the fight right out of me. My throat burned, and my stomach twisted with guilt over sneaking around with Emmett. And I think it was that guilt that had me forgiving her faster than I should’ve. “Of course, I forgive you.”
I broke our hug, tucking my hair behind my ears. I couldn’t look at her as I said, “You weren’t entirely wrong.”
“About what?”
“My…lifestyle.” I shrugged a shoulder. “It’s not exactly a good look. It’s kinda giving Martha Stewart and her prison years…”
Claire snorted. “Don’t go changing yourself just because I was a bitch,” she said, her voice growing stern. “We love you just as you are, and wouldn’t have you any other way.”
“I know.” And I really did, but as fun and freeing as it was, the partying and hookups were starting to lose their luster. “I just don’t know if it’s really me anymore, you know?”
At that moment, my phone buzzed in my back pocket.
Em:Can’t stop thinking about how good you looked in my bed yesterday morning.
Em: Think this sleepover thing should become a regular thing. What do you think, sugar?
My heart flutteredin my chest, and the world zeroed in on his words and the meaning behind them.
“What isthat?” Claire blurted.
My stomach sank, my skin prickling with a cold sweat. Had she seen my screen? “Wha—nothing. It’s nothing,” I choked, shoving my phone back in my pocket with a shaking hand.
“No, you’re smiling at your phone. You don’t smile at your phone.” Her grin widened. “Who are you talking to?”
The relief I felt almost brought me to my knees. I shrugged a shoulder. “Just some guy.” I hated calling Emmett ‘some guy’ as if he weren’t the only reason why I’d remained sane these last two days.
Claire’s brows nearly shot to her hairline, her eyes wide. “Justsomeguy?” She smirked, leaning against the half-wall beside us. “A guy who makes you giddy like a middle schooler is more like it.”
Yeah. And that was the problem. I couldn’t let Emmett make me feel giddy. This was supposed to be casual, no-strings with an end date. It was supposed to only happen once, but we’d already royally fucked that up.
“I amnotgiddy,” I lied. The heat rushing to my cheeks didn’t help.
She gripped my arm, her green eyes sparkling with excitement. “Oh my God, you’resoobsessed with him. Do I know him? The sex must be good if he’s got you blushing like that.”
I almost choked on my spit. If only she knew she was asking about her brother. “It’s alright,” I replied, downplaying it. But I couldn’t hide my smile.
“You’re getting the best sex of your life, aren’t you.” It wasn’t a question. Claire knew me well enough to know the answer already.
“I think I’m addicted to his dick,” I confessed with a heavy breath. “And he’s got a dirty mouth. The shit he says is…insane.”
Claire squealed, jumping up and down, which made Willow fidget. “How long have you been seeing him?”
“About three weeks. It was supposed to be a one-off, but we can’t seem to stay away…” I chewed on my bottom lip, staring down at our feet. “It’s complicated.”
That was the understatement of the fucking century.
Her excitement morphed to confusion. “I thought complicated wasn’t your thing?”
“It’s not, and that’s the problem.” I sighed, weighing my options. I needed someone to talk to about this, but it felt weird having this conversation with Claire for obvious reasons. Maybe if I didn’t tell her who he was, then it wouldn’t be so bad, and I could get her advice. I took a deep breath, steeling myself. “I really like him, bear,” I admitted, looking at her warily. “Like…a lot.”
Her head tilted, eyes darting all over my face. She knew just how serious it was for me to admit that. I didn’t do real, didn’t do lasting, and it was Emmett’s fault. Nothing I ever felt for anyone came close to touching the way I loved him, and these last three weeks only made me fall for him more.
“Then you should tell him how you feel.”
