He just wouldn’t let himself have me. And I had no idea why.
I had made it so easy. All he had to do was take, and I was ready for it. More ready than I’d ever been for anything in my life.
It was probably for the best, though. There was no telling what kind of damage finally being with someone you’d loved for twenty years might cause. I couldn’t even fathom it when just Emmett’s touch was almost too much to handle.
I was still buzzing from it two days later.
The logical, therapist side of me was screaming,thank fucking Godthat nothing happened. But the brokenhearted girl in me was devastated.
I set my pen down and sighed, staring at the water as it flowed over rocks. The creek behind Golden Circle was my refuge, but even its calming surroundings did nothing to fix me this time around.
Why couldn’t he see me? See that if he just let it happen, we’d be perfect together. He could be the grounding force to my wildness, while I could be the support that brought him out of his shell. He was a Capricorn, I was a Virgo—I found out how compatible those signs were in my zodiac phase when I was seventeen, which I never really grew out of. And yet, after all this time, he hadn’t noticed. Was it just because I was Savannah’s best friend, or was it something more?
Something aboutme?
I snapped my journal shut, refusing to sit in this spiral for another second. I was better than this. I didn’t wallow, and Iespecially didn’t wallow over men. Grabbing my phone, I shot Savvy a text.
Me:can we go get wasted? i need a distraction
Savvy: Can Wes come? Or is this girls’ night?
Savvy: He’ll DD
I rolled my eyes,said yes, and started walking back to the ranch. My best friend and her fiancé had been up each other’s asses for the last three months, and while I was so happy for her that they sorted their shit out, I couldn’t help but be jealous.
I wanted what they had. Wanted someone who loved me unconditionally…and also gave me mind-blowing orgasms. Not that I couldn’t get those already, but I had a feeling getting them from someone who knew every facet of you and loved you anyway made them infinitely better.
I bet you felt that shit down in your pinky toes.
Hooves hitting dirt came behind me while I was loading my car. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw Emmett on the back of Birch, his horse, and I almost slid down the side of my car to the ground.
I hated how hot he was, and how I’dalwaysthought so. Even at thirteen, with lanky limbs and braces; sixteen, with new muscles in his football uniform; eighteen, with pride in his eyes and a buzzed head in his Army fatigues; twenty-nine, with a haunted stare and tattoos swirling over nearly every inch of him.
But this version. This version of him was my favorite yet. His curls had grown out, flipping beneath his backwards baseball cap, and his boxy white tee and faded jeans fit like they were made for him. Fuck me, he was even wearing a silver chain around his neck.
It ached to want him this intensely for so long. Like a bruise that never healed.
I froze when his stare met mine across the yard, those green eyes holding me captive. That pull I felt Thursday was still there, taught like a string. I wanted to yank on it and drag him over here.
But more than that, I wantedhimto dragme.
This was the first time he’d even looked in my direction since he fled from my office. The muscles in his jaw tensed, his throat moving with a swallow I wanted to trace with my tongue. His brows pulled together before he looked at the ground, and the hold on my lungs released when he turned to tie Birch to a fence post.
My hand skirted along the side of my car as I stumbled back into the driver’s seat and left, my heart hammering.
I guess he wasn’t the only one who knew how to flee.
The Bull Penwas another one of my havens. While the creek was my sanctuary, this run-down bar was my playground. Savannah and I walked in, our arms linked, with Weston at our backs. The music was so loud, it made my insides jump with the bass. I grinned. It was the perfect volume to drown out my thoughts of my best friend’s brother.
“How wasted are we getting here? Shots or drinks?” Savannah yelled into my ear as we wormed our way to the bar.
“Both,” I tossed over my shoulder. I smiled to myself at her heavy, bracing breath. I stepped onto the foot rail, leaning over the wooden bar. I cupped a hand to my mouth. “Robbie!”
Robbie, a mid-fifties cowboy and owner of this eighth wonder of the world, grinned when he saw me. “Watchya doin’ here, cherry bomb?”
I kissed his weathered cheek. “I managed to get Savvy out of the house!” I shook his shoulders excitedly as I spoke.
“Now that’s cause for celebratin’.” He shot Savvy a wink.
