“He’s my bestie?” Forming that as a question won’t make things any easier when dealing with my brother. “And we’re working on the marketing thing together.”
He raises an eyebrow, knowing damn well I’m holding out. Has he noticed the change in dynamics between us? Things are normal, but there has been an energy when we’re around each other that wasn’t there before. It’s like me kissing him opened up a floodgate, and it’s been impossible to close it.
Thankfully, he seems like he’s letting it go since there isn’t a quick rebuttal. “How was your date last night?”
Or maybe not. “How did you know I had a date last night?”
The only person I told was Beau. As much as I love my siblings, I don’t need them meddling in my dating life. It’s part of the reason it’s been years since I’ve brought anyone home for them to meet. Unless there’s a high chance of exclusive dating, there’s no reason to introduce them to my family.
“How do you know I was on a date? I could have been hanging out with friends.”
“What friends?” He laughs and sits in the chair across from me. “Outside of Beau, the only people you willingly hang out with are family members.”
“Then how do you know that?” Unless he’s secretly following me.
“I ran into Beau last night. It’s not often I see him at Out of the Ashes alone.”
That is odd. He’s not really a large crowd type of person. Why in the world would he go there by himself? I make a mental note to get to the bottom on it.
“We don’t spend every second of the day together.”
“Damn near,” he replies.
He makes us sound co-dependent. I mean I guess in some ways we might be, but also not really. We’re capable of doing things and making decisions without the other. Being each other’s person when things are great, and falling apart, is a part of friendship.
“I don’t know why you’re so hung up on me and him being more than what we are. If we become anything else, it will ruin everything.”
“Oh my God.” He throws his hands in the air. “The two of you are exhausting and, both of you are in love with each other but refuse to do anything about it.”
“Of course, I love him.” I wave away his comment. “He’s been a part of my life for over ten years. How could I not?”
He shakes his head as if he knows he’s fighting a losing battle. I’m not sure how he wants me to react, or what he wants me to say.
“Are you going to the carnival thing with him this weekend?” Before I even have a chance to open my mouth, he mimics a keep it shut motion with his hand. “The two of you need to figure your shit out before it implodes.”
“It sounds like you’re speaking from experience.” I lean back in my chair and set my feet on the desk. The need to do something to hide what I feel. Because he’s right. Beau and I are at a tipping point whether or not I want to admit it.
“Oh, hell no.” He shakes his head as he walks toward the door. “Relationships aren’t for me. Learned that lesson back in high school. I’m perfectly fine with hookups.”
“One day you’re going to meet someone who will change your mind.”
“I hope not.” He laughs and steps into the hallway before turning back. “Look, I love both you and Beau. At this point he’s practically family. You need to stop being afraid and tell him how you feel. Both of you are getting on my nerves about this.”
“I feel like he’s my best friend.” I roll my eyes and look anywhere but at my brother.
“Liar.” Without accusation, he’s out of my sight. He disappears as quickly as he appears.
He’s not completely wrong, and it sucks that he knows it. Why can’t he be the big sibling who tells me what I want to hear? I have other siblings who will give it to me straight. Except that’s not what I need from him.
Going to the fair before school started was something we used to do when we were in school. Maybe it’s time to bring some of that joy back into my life. We can get on the rides and pretend we don’t have a care in the world, just like when we were kids.
I search around my desk for my phone and open up our text thread.
Piper
Yes. I’ll go to the fair with you.
We can see how this goes, and if I pick up on him having more than platonic feelings for me, I’ll make my move.
