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But this isn't the time. I shake my head, bringing my focus back to my brain. "How was the party? Did anyone give you a hard time?"
"Laurie deflected all the attention. I had a few questions about my boyfriend... people trying to figure out if the gossip blogs are right--if I really left my fiancé for a mysterious hottie."
"I saw that blog."
"So who did you tip off?"
"Oh, you know, just Perez Hilton and Harvey Levin. No big deal."
"You wish." She giggles. "More like Joe of Joe's Blog."
"Hey! You can say what you want about me, but don't speak ill of Joe."
"Never."
She laughs. It's so pure and warm that it fills the room with color. "What about you? It can't be easy trying to comfort your suicidal ex?" There's such a warmth to her voice, such a sweetness.
I press the phone into my ear. "I'm okay."
"What do you two do?"
"We talk and we play rummy."
"What do you talk about?" She asks like she's curious, like she really wants to know.
I smirk. "How much I love fucking you."
Alyssa laughs, but it's awkward. Tense. She wants me to reassure her of something, but I'm not sure what.
"We don't talk about anything important," I say.
"No? The woman tried to kill herself, again, and you don't talk about anything important?"
"Nothing worth rehashing."
She sighs and takes a long, slow breath. "I won't get upset. I understand that you loved her once."
There's a pounding in the back of my head. This is not a productive area of conversation. I shift the phone, lowering my voice to a whisper. "I know. But I'm sick of talking about Samantha."
She murmurs some acknowledgment. Alyssa must understand. She's always trying to get out of conversations.
She clears her throat twice. Exhales a heavy breath into the phone. "Well, um, here's the thing..."
I like the sound of that. "Yes?"
"I was thinking... We could do things... on the phone." She's so breathless she can barely get through the words. She exhales, harder this time.
I really like the sound of that. But still, I need to torture her as much as I can.
I am as coy as possible. "What kinds of things? Chess?"
"I hate chess."
"Pawn to A4."
"Not chess!"
"That's a terrible opening!"
