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Alyssa presses her fingers into her cup. "I know the feeling."
I set my cup on the railing, turn to Alyssa, and lift her sunglasses off her eyes. There's so much pain in her expression. There's something she desperately wants to say.
"You want to tell me what you're thinking?" I ask.
"What if we had it right the first time? What if you were supposed to be with her, and I was supposed to be with Ryan?"
"Do you really believe that?"
She presses her eyes closed. "No." She shifts, her gaze turning back to the restaurant. "But I was terrified you would come back in love with her."
I run my fingertips over her cheek. "I love you. Only you."
She moves closer. Wraps me in a hug and squeezes for dear life. "But she talks to you. What if you get tired of me keeping everything to myself?"
"That will have nothing to do with Samantha."
She squeezes tighter. And tighter.
I stroke her hair. "Something happened over the weekend, didn't it?"
She nods.
"You weren't at the movies, were you?"
"No."
"Where were you?"
"At Laurie's."
"Alone?" I ask.
She nods.
"Well, then it can't be that bad. It's not like you were out fucking Ryan."
She stifles a laugh. Her eyes turn to mine. "You're obsessed."
I nod and brush a hair from her eyes. There's still so much anguish in them. So much she needs to tell me.
"You're going to be upset." Her voice is low, desperate.
"We already established that you weren't fucking Ryan, so it can't be all that bad."
A warm breeze blows over us. We're in such a perfect, beautiful place, but the only thing I can feel is Alyssa's pain.
I point to a bench. She shakes her head and presses her palms against the railing again.
Her eyes are on the ocean. "I did the food challenge."
"What happened?"
"I didn't... I'm sorry, Luke, but I fucked it up." She looks at the ground. Her hands squeeze each other so tightly her knuckles turn white.
"You know you can tell me anything."
She nods and takes another sip of her coffee. Her gaze moves back to the beach, to the expanse of sand and ocean.
