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"Don't get your panties in a twist, okay? I understand that you have strong feelings about Alyssa. But you're not the only person in the world who feels things. I've loved people too. And Alyssa also feels things. She has issues, sure, but I'm sure there's another reason why she asked for space."
"Can you talk to her?"
"No way," Laurie says. "I'm not stepping into that drama hurricane. I'm sure she has her reasons, and I'm sure you have your reasons. There's no way I can help you with this."
"I know. I just hate being away from her."
"Yeah, we all know you're desperately in love." She says it with such annoyance. She's probably rolling her eyes as we speak.
"What the fuck is that?"
"Hey! I'm the closest thing you have to an ally. Don't be rude."
"Okay. Ms. House, can you explain your hostility?"
"That's better," she says. "You don't listen. I just told you that you're not the only person in the world who feels things. You're not the only person in the world who loves people or has needs. I know you care about Alyssa. I know you want her to be okay. And I definitely know you love her and want to be with her."
"But?"
"But you need to listen to her."
"She's told you something," I say.
"Okay, maybe I did pry something out of her." Laurie's voice gets serious. "But I'm sworn to secrecy. And, like I said, I'm not interested in the drama hurricane. No offense, Loverboy, but I'm much more invested in Alyssa's well-being than I am in yours."
"I'm sure there's a way I can tempt you."
"Not unless you can get Fox to offer me seven figures for my latest pilot." She laughs at her own joke, but there is an edge to it. She really is worried about Alyssa.
Maybe Laurie and I can be on the same team. We do have a common goal.
"We both want Alyssa to be happy," I say.
I wait for Laurie's response.
She takes a slow breath. "I'm listening. My patience is running out, but I'm listening."
"And we can both agree that she's happy when she's with me."
"Usually."
"So, don't you think that helping me here would lead to Alyssa's happiness?"
"You can't logic me into helping you. But apparently," she sighs, "apparently, you can
inspire enough pity to get me to help you."
"So?"
"So, you need to listen to your girlfriend. She wants this to work. And I know for a fact that she told you exactly what she needs to make this work."
"You mean..." Deep breath. If Laurie doesn't know about Samantha, she'll freak out at the news. And I might have lost my only ally. But it's a risk I have to take. "You mean Samantha?"
"Yes, I mean your needy, pathetic ex who is ruining your relationship with my best friend."
I'm not detecting much in the way of sympathy here. "Okay."
"So listen to what Alyssa wants and do the intelligent thing. And then give her some time. She's dealing with a lot. No thanks to me. I've been a little crazy about the show, and she's going to do a movie next week."
