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I could leave her in there. Let her figure this out on her own for once, damn the consequences. She's an adult. She should be able to manage one of her contained fits.
But there are prescriptions in the medicine cabinet, and I can't trust her not to take them.
I knock on the bathroom door.
"Go away," she says.
"Talk to me."
"No. I'm only making your life harder."
"At least tell me what's wrong."
"It's nothing," she says. "I'm just a little stressed out. It's nothing."
I open the door. She's sitting on the tub, wiping a tear from her eyes. "But I'm getting in the way of your happiness. You love her and you want to be with her, and I'm a problem." The words are poison on her lips.
I want to tell her she's right. I want to tell her she brought this on herself. I begged her to stay, but she was done with me. She was so done with me, she'd sooner pine after a dead asshole than spend a single moment in my presence.
She was done with me, and I moved on. And I finally found someone who made me happy.
And now she's jealous.
I want to tell her to go fuck herself, to get over it, to stop being such a selfish cunt.
But I can't.
She clings to me, crying into my suit jacket. She doesn't explain what's wrong. She doesn't have to.
Alyssa was right.
Samantha is in love with me.
And anything I do will destroy her.
When she finally calms down, she wipes her makeup from her eyes. She looks so desperate. So small and full of need.
I know I shouldn't try and make her say it, but I need to hear the words. I need her to admit it, so I can know for sure.
"Tell me what's wrong," I say. "Tell me why this upsets you."
Her voice is a low whimper. "Don't make me."
"Please. I need to know the truth."
"What difference does it make?" she asks. "You're in love, and I want you to be happy."
"You don't."
"I want to. I've done enough to ruin your life. I've done so much to hurt you, Luke. I can't burden you with this too."
"I can take it."
She shakes her head. "I had the right idea before. I'm causing you pain. You're the only person who cares about me, and I'm causing you pain."
"Sam..."
"You shouldn't have come to Santa Barbara. You should have left me alone in that hospital with my thoughts. I could have figured out how to do it right next time."
