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"Are you a lawyer or a doctor?"
"Technically, a law degree is a doctorate."
She rolls her eyes, but there's a joy to it.
"I'll laugh my way to the bathroom," she says. She pushes away from the table and makes her way to the restaurant's bathroom.
It crosses my mind for a split second--what if she's purging--but I shake it away. She's been doing better for a long time. And she'd tell me if she was struggling.
She would tell me.
We've been together for the last two weeks. There's no way she'd be able to hide a relapse.
I take a long sip of my tea. I'm getting worked up over nothing. I need to calm down, so she'll feel comfortable talking to me.
Alyssa returns to the table. She looks at me as she slides into her seat. She's really studying my expression.
"Don't tell me..." She shakes her head like she's disappointed in me. "And here I thought you finally trusted me."
"You're not talking to me."
"I was not in the bathroom throwing up. That's what you wanted to hear, isn't it?"
"I didn't think otherwise." I take a deep breath. I can stay calm here.
She didn't sleep last night. She's tired. I don't mind putting up with a little crankiness. A cranky Alyssa is much better than anyone or anything else.
"If I didn't trust you, I'd be throwing a fit about that phone call."
She bites her lip. She knows I'm right.
She packs her purse and takes one last sip of coffee. "Let's go."
I nod. Hiking while exhausted seems like a terrible idea, but I do trust her.
***
Our morning hike is supposed to be difficult. It's two and a half very steep miles. I explain the path to Alyssa on the drive, but she is not deterred in the least.
She rolls her eyes at me. "I thought you were in shape with all that tactical bodyweight training bullshit."
It's either make a sharp U-turn or accept that she'll be fine hiking up a steep cliff after getting no sleep.
"You look like you're about to jump off a bridge." Alyssa pokes my shoulder. "I really am okay."
"I believe you."
She shifts, pulling her legs to her seat and crossing them. "It doesn't seem like it."
I focus on the narrow road. We're almost there. It's going to be fine. "I do. I'm just... I worry about you."
She says nothing, but I can feel her reaction over here. She hates that I'm worried about her. She hates when anyone is worried about her.
"People worry about each other, Ally. It's normal."
"I didn't say anything."
"I know what you were thinking."
