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For the first time all week, I'm awake and alive. I want something I can have. In theory.
I part my lips to make way for his tongue. I slide my hands around his waist and hold on tightly. Nick, Nick, Nick. It's my world. It's everything.
The kiss breaks. He stares into my eyes, his expression equal parts desperation and desire.
He slides my blazer off my shoulders. It falls behind me on the floor.
I press my body against his. "This doesn't mean anything. It's break up sex."
He pulls my zipper all the way down my back. "It means something."
"But not that we're together. We're not. It's just tonight. It's just because we're both miserable."
"You're miserable?"
"Don't pretend like you can't tell."
He drags his fingertips up my back. "Why are you running away from what you want?"
I hold Nick's gaze. "You have your priories. I have mine."
"What are they, baby?"
God, I like the way that sounds. I swallow hard. "Stop that."
"Priorities can change."
"Call me when they do." I step back. "Until then, I'm not discussing it."
Nick moves closer. He pulls my dress off one shoulder then the other. His eyes go to my chest as he pushes my dress to my waist. "I want you to feel better."
"Then fuck me."
"Do I need to get a condom?"
He might as well ask "have you fucked someone else?" I'm tempted to slap him. Is that really what he thinks of me?
I hold strong. This is the Nick I know. The one who only takes necessary risks.
He's already back to his normal self.
This was the right decision. No matter how much it hurts me.
I reach around my back to unhook my bra. "No."
He nods. His expression changes. Stern. "Strip. I want you naked in front of me."
That's the Nick I know.
I slide my bra off my shoulders and toss it aside. I push my dress to my knees. It's impossible to take off my tights and boots in a graceful manner, but I get my groove back as I slide my underwear off my hips. It falls to my feet.
I kick all the clothes away.
Nick scans my body the way he did that night in San Francisco, like he's taking a mental picture, like he believes this is the last time.
Tension threatens to consume my back. The moment Nick presses his palm into my skin, my muscles relax.
Fucking body. Why can't the thing respect my wishes? Instead, it's on fire. It wants him and nothing else will do.
Nick brings his hands to my chest. He cups my breasts with a gentle touch. His eyes go to mine as he plays with my nipples. It starts soft. Then it's harder. Faster. Rougher.
Pleasure builds between my legs. I fight my desire to close my eyes. I want to see the look on his face. The mix of control and ecstasy in his expression.
I groan, pressing my knees together. He's fucking good at this.
I forget about tomorrow. I forget about next week. I forget about everything but his moment.
It means something.
It means everything.
He toys with my nipples until I'm panting. One hand goes to my chin, tilting my head so we make eye contact.
"What do you want?" he asks.
"Right now?"
"Period. What do you want, Lizzy, more than anything?"
Chapter Thirty-Three
I turn away, pressing my eyelids together.
How am I supposed to answer that?
He rubs me until I can't bear the silence anymore. I groan. I arch my body into his.
"Right now—" I look back at Nick. "Right now, I want you. I want your hands on me. Your mouth. I want you inside of me until I'm coming so hard I can't stand it."
"Is that all you want from me?"
I want everything from you, Nick. I love you. "I don't want to talk. I want you to fuck me."
His hand slides down my stomach and below my belly button. Almost.
Then he's touching me properly. His fingertips skim my clit. He presses his palm against me.
He groans. "Jesus, Lizzy. The way you respond to me." He teases my sex. "You really want this to be the last time?"
"Ask that again, and I'm leaving."
I lean into his touch. I press my eyelids together so the rest of the world disappears.
All I feel is Nick's hands on my body. Fuck the rest of it. I'm going to enjoy this if it kills me.
He slides one finger inside me. Then two. I cry out. My hands go to his suit jacket. That same expensive wool.
I tug at his tie to undo the knot. My hands go to the buttons on his oxford shirt. I undo two before he grabs my wrists and brings them to my sides.
Nick shoves everything off my desk. He pushes the monitor aside, so there's nothing in the way
His arm slides under my ass. He lifts me and places me on the desk.
I spread my legs to make room for him. He slings his hands under my knees, bringing my body onto his. I'm naked on this desk, and he's fully dressed in front of me, and I fucking like it.
He kisses his way down my neck and chest, stopping at my breasts to suck on my nipples. It's intense. His mouth is soft but the pressure is hard.
When he bites me, I groan.
He bites harder.
I can't feel anything but him. The burst of pain. The pulse of pleasure.
I dig my hands into his hair as he tortures me with his mouth. When I'm certain I can't take it anymore, I press my hands against his head to tell him to go lower.
His lips press against my stomach. My belly button.
The inside of my thigh.
He drops to his knees. His hands close around my thighs. He drags me forward, pulls my legs apart. I'm splayed for him, on display for him.
My breath hitches. My pulse races. The closer his mouth gets to my sex, the more unbearable the anticipation. I'm on fire. I'm going to ignite.
I plant my hands behind me to stay in place. He nips at my inner thigh with desperate, hungry motions.
"Nick," I groan. I arch my back, shifting my body just a little closer to his mouth.
He's almost there. He catches the delicate skin of my inner thigh between his teeth. Pain bursts through me. My sex clenches. I need him. God, how I need him.
Then his mouth is on me. My arms go slack as his tongue slides over my clit. I collapse on the desk with a thud. It does nothing to slow him. He slides one hand under my ass and uses it to bring me closer. The other hooks my knees around his shoulders, one at a time.
I press my thighs against his ears as he licks me. He's damn good at this. In moments, my body is pulsing with bliss. The knot inside me pulls so tight it hurts. I squeeze him harder.
"Nick," I breathe.
He sucks on my clit. It's intense enough to take my breath away. I grab onto the edges of the desk, something to convince me I've got my balance.
He's soft and warm, and he's working magic. The next lick pulls that knot so tight I can't take it. The tension unravels, my sex pulsing with pleasure as I come.
I squeeze my thighs around his head. Whatever it takes to hold him against me.
He licks me again. Again. It's too much, but I can't bear to tell him to stop.
I squeeze the table. Not enough. I scream.
He's still licking me. I reach for Nick until I find his hair and I tug hard. He moans against my skin.
Another orgasm builds inside me. I press my heel into his back. I tug at his hair.
And I scream. I scream his name as I come. It's intense. It hurts. But it hurts so fucking good.
Pleasure spills through my body. Such a wonderful high when I've been so fucking low.
He's the best comfort in the world. So much better than ice cream or movie marathons. So much better than anything.
Nick pulls back. He rises to his feet and presses his crotch against mine. I shift so I can feel the hardness in his slacks. I need that too. I need to make him feel as good as I do.
He tortures me, undoing his shirt as slowly as humanly possible. I wait on my back, my tongue sliding over my lips, my sex throbbing.
Finally, he slides his shirt off his shoulders. I reach up to touch him but he shoves my arms back onto the desk. I squeeze the edge as he does away with his slacks and boxers.
There's no patience left in his movements. He grabs my legs and presses them to his chest, so my ankles are at his ears. His hands go to my hips, and he pulls our bodies together.
His cock strains against me.
There.
I sigh as he enters me. The look on his face is exactly what I feel. Like the world finally makes sense.
He stares into my eyes, daring me to shy away from the intimacy.
I don't. I stare back. It hurts all the way to my bones, but I stare back.
I need to be his, even for a moment, even if I'll be more miserable when it's over.
