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"Oh."
"You want to back out?"
I shake my head. This might technically be trespassing, but it doesn't sound like there's much risk of getting in trouble.
Ethan opens the door to the lobby, slides his arm around my waist, and whisks me inside. He looks at his arm for a second. "Sorry, habit."
But he doesn't move his arm. And I don't ask him to move it.
I don't want him to move it.
He leads me up the stairs and through the roof door. It's a cool day and the wind is blowing. But that does nothing to convince me swimming at an abandoned pool is a bad idea.
The pool is huge for an apartment complex and its water is a bright aqua.
I want in that water.
Ethan drags his fingertips over my lower back. I'm not sure what it means, but I like the way it feels.
And I fucking love the way his smile lights me up inside.
I don't feel cold anymore. I don't feel heavy or achy or tired.
Ethan sets our shopping bag down on a lawn chair. I fish my swimsuit and a towel out. He gives me a quick once-over. His eyes go wide with anticipation.
I'm tempted to strip right here. I'm tempted to do whatever it takes to make his eyes fill with need.
I want him to need me. There's been a part of me missing since we broke up. Nothing can replace it.
Maybe it's selfish or immature, but I want to hear him whisper I need you Violet. Fuck, I've missed you. It's like I'm empty without you.
But I'm getting ahead of myself. I wrap the towel around my shoulders. "Let's see if I can still pull this off."
"You're a Cali girl. It's in your blood."
I laugh. "No one has ever called me a Cali girl with a straight face."
"Yeah, well, no one knows you like I do."
I swallow hard. He's right. But I want to keep things light for a little longer. "I'll promise not to look if you will."
He gives me a long once over. "Deal."
I wait for him to turn. As much as I want to watch Ethan strip to nothing, I'm a woman of my word. I turn and pull my t-shirt over my head. It catches on the wind and floats right into the pool.
Ethan laughs. "You can wear my hoodie later."
Screw it. It's only a t-shirt. I'm more careful with how I place my jeans, underwear, and bra. I pull the tags off the bikini then slide it on.
Deep breath. I'm still not sure what I'm doing here, what I'm after, but I do know something: I've had more fun in the last twenty-four hours than in the last two years.
I need to stop overthinking things.
Ethan doesn't do that. He does whatever he wants. He has fun.
"I'm ready," I say.
"Me too."
