AllFreeNovel
Share Us
"Not yet. But, soon."
He shakes his head. Then he's laughing so hard his shoulders are shaking. "Of course. The uptight wallflower is a challenge. She's not going to hop on the bed and spread 'em."
"Don't pretend like you haven't fucked a hundred women who only cared that you were famous, who would have literally done anything you asked, who didn't have a fucking clue that you were an actual human being."
He nods, conceding my point. But then he gets this knowing look in his dark eyes. "Awfully fixated on screwing women who aren't your wife."
"It's not like that."
His expression gets sympathetic. "I know."
I shove my hands into my pockets. I'm not sure that I should tell Kit, but I want to tell somebody, and he's the only person I trust. Well, maybe Daphne but I'm not interested in her opinions on the matter.
I drop my voice to a whisper. "You can't tell anyone this."
"When have I ever spilled a secret?"
"Shit's different now."
He nods. "Go ahead."
"I better start at the beginning."
I tell Kit more than I should. I tell him about meeting Bella in the bar and daring her to do shit that got her blushing. And the way she dared back, even though she was nervous.
It was easy to talk to her. At first, I thought it was because I'd never see her again. At first, it was a typical one-night stand. I wanted to show her a good time. I wanted to make her laugh.
Making her smile made me feel good in a way that casual sex never had.
It made me feel whole.
I tell Kit that I knew some part of me was trying to prove some point about love and marriage. I was trying to prove my dad wrong—when he announced the divorce, he looked me in the eyes and said as if to say of course, you get this Joel. You're smart not to settle down. It's a drag, having a wife and two kids.
Most of me was kidding when I asked.
And dumbstruck when she said yes.
But all of me was game.
Marrying Bella felt right.
Being with her still feels right.
But keeping that from her? That doesn't fucking feel right.
Shit. I don't know what to do here. I want her around. But I don't want to hurt her.
Kit steps in. "You always get people to go along with what you want."
I nod. I'm capable of getting people on board with things.
"You can't stay married to her unless you're sure you're in love with her."
"Why's it have to happen in that order?"
"You think she'd be okay staying married to a guy who isn't in love with her?"
Probably not. "It's only been a few days."
