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"Yeah."
"Good." She presses her lips together. "She seems nice, your mom."
"She's the nicest person anyone's ever met." I move closer. "And I don't mean that as an insult the way people normally do."
"I know." She looks up at me for a second. "I'm nice. People say that about me. They mean passive and boring."
"Or maybe they're struggling for something to say to your face because they're talking about your tits behind your back."
She lets out a sound that's half laugh, half sob. "That must be it." With her next breath, her eyes go back to the floor. She blinks back another tear. "Right now, you're the only person who knows."
"Do you want to change that?"
"I have to tell my dad soon. And other people, they'll ask why I left law school. I'm not sure which is worse, the truth or a lie that I dropped out to follow my husband around on tour."
"You mean, you don't want to be my pet?"
She shakes her head. "You… you wouldn't want that, would you?"
"No. But I wouldn't mind it. If you wanted that, if you never wanted to work again, I'd take care of you."
"You mean if we… if we stay married."
"Hypothetically, yeah."
She looks up at me. "It's hard caring about someone. They can really hurt you." Her brown eyes fill with frustration. "Joel, that stuff you said… how could you ambush me like that?"
"I shouldn't have said that shit in front of my mom." I slide my arm around her shoulders. "I shouldn't have said that shit, period."
She nods.
"I'm sorry. I get out of my head when I see you doing shit that will make you miserable."
"How did you know it would make me miserable?"
"You get this expression when you bring it up. It's like… what are those things called, in Harry Potter, that eat your happiness?"
"Dementors."
"Like that."
"Law school is like a soul-sucking dementor?"
I nod.
She looks at me like I'm crazy. But also like I'm right.
Deep down, she knows she doesn't want to go back to law school.
She must.
Damn, all I want to do is wipe her pain away. I'm not good at this relationship thing. But I want to try. For her.
I lean down and offer her my hand. "This will be more comfortable inside."
"I'm not sure I'm ready to go inside yet."
That's fair. I take her hands and pull her to her feet. "I do know you, Bella. Maybe not every inch of you, not yet, but I want to."
