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"I get that."

I press my forehead to his. "Tell me you're not getting ready to run away."

"It's going to take a lot more than this to get me to run off."

"You promise?"

He nods. "Cross my heart and hope to die."

24

Bella

The next day, we get up early to meet Joel's mom for breakfast.

She's all smiles and stories about Joel. She doesn't mention our fight, or that I ran off, or that we're clearly moving faster than we should here.

She carefully avoids the subject of work as she asks about my life and my interests. I tell her everything I can about my dad, the strong but gruff lawyer who lets us know he loves us in a stoic, I'll take care of you but don't expect any hugs kind of way.

I tell her about my sister Anne, the party girl turned life of the party wife, who loves shopping and clothes and Medieval European history. Anne is as smart as I am, smarter even, but she's never had an interest in academics.

I tell her about my tiny apartment by Columbia, about how I've painted the walls a pastel pink, and adorned them with rose decals. I tell her about how I've always loved roses, especially the thorns. How my mother used to garden. I took over her garden when she died, but I was helpless.

I tell her about my undying love of reading. Not just Harry Potter and assorted YA books, but anything and everything I can get my hands on. I read plenty of contemporary stories, but fantasy is what really grabs me. There's something about escaping into another world. It takes me away from my life. It convinces me anything is possible.

Thankfully, Trish reads as much as I do. It was her main hobby while she was a stay at home mom—which was pretty much until Joel went to college. She doesn't say it aloud, but it's clear that the trouble in her marriage started when she went back to work.

When she realized she wanted her own life.

Mostly, we talk about books. And about Joel. All through coffee, shopping, lunch, more coffee, we talk about books and we talk about Joel. I don't feel like a failed law student around Trish. I don't even feel like I'm only here because I'm Joel's wife.

I feel like a human being who loves tea, reading, and long cardio sessions.

Maybe I don't know what the hell I want out of life right now, but I'm starting to figure out what I don't want.

We spend the entire day with her. By the time we get home, Joel and I are exhausted. He's still shaking his head over all the ways his mom mocked him.

"I can't believe how much you enjoyed this picture of me as a child," he says.

"You looked cute with braces."

"I'm going to get you back when I meet your dad."

I laugh even though the thought of Dad meeting Joel is terrifying. "Dad doesn't share pictures. He's not sentimental."

"No?"

"No." I collapse on the couch and grab the remote. "He'll probably have one of his investigator's get background on you then grill you about every horrible thing you've ever done."

"Law firms really have investigators?"

"Yeah, and his investigator is even tougher than Calinda," I reference the tough as nails investor on The Good Wife. "Not as pretty though. He's more the type who could beat you up."

"You saying I couldn't take him?"

I laugh. "Shouldn't you protect your hands."

"Drumming is more in the wrists. You should know that."

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