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I press my index and middle fingers together.

"Wet them."

I slide my fingers into my mouth and suck on them. My fingertips are soft against my tongue. And my tongue is soft against my fingertips. Pleasure spreads through my torso. My head fills with thoughts of Joel's firm flesh in my mouth.

Of him groaning as he tugs at my hair.

I pull my fingers from my mouth then I drag them down my neck. Over my chest. I play with one nipple. Then the other. Then I have my fingers in my mouth again, my eyes fixed on Joel's.

His expression is pure desire.

He needs me.

Right now, he needs me more than he's ever needed anything.

This time, I bring my hand right to my clit. I stroke myself until my eyelids press together. Fuck. I'm close.

I force myself to open my eyes.

Joel meets my

gaze. He nods now then his gaze shifts. He's watching intently.

I spread my legs a little wider as I tease myself with one finger. Then two. I've had guys touch me this way. I've had Joel touch me this way. But I've never penetrated myself.

My muscles threaten to clench up.

"Take a deep breath." Somehow, Joel's voice is steady, reassuring. He still has desire written all over his face, but he's looking out for me first.

I take a deep breath.

"Sit back so your legs can go slack."

I do. It doesn't give him as good a view, but it's a more comfortable position. My inner thighs are no longer straining.

I exhale slowly.

Then I bring my fingers back to my mouth. They taste like me. It spurs me on. It pushes the anxiety away.

Joel's voice drops back to that low, demanding tone. "Tease yourself, angel."

I do. First with one finger. Then two.

My eyes stay glued to his as I slip a finger inside my sex. It's different.

But not bad.

Not at all bad.

Slowly, I push my finger deeper. Deeper. It hurts, but in that good way.

In a really good way.

Pleasure fills my pelvis as I slip another finger in my sex.

I'm slow about stretching myself. Once I'm warmed up, I go a little faster, a little deeper, a little harder.

My hips shift to match the movements of my hand.

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