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Just like how I twist myself into any shape that suits other people. Or maybe it's the opposite. Mr. Shaw knows exactly what he's after—the best deal for his client. He's the one getting what he wants. He's the one pulling the strings.
Daddy is glaring at Mr. Shaw like he's about to deck him. "If I have to repeat that my daughter doesn't want this man's money one more time, we're going to find new counsel."
The lawyer shakes his head. "If that's your decision."
"Sweetheart?" Dad looks to me. "He needs a yes from you."
"Oh. I… Yes, but, actually…" I look up at Dad. "I got Cs my first semester."
He raises a brow. "We can talk about that later."
"No. I have to say this now." I take a deep breath and exhale slowly. "I want to drop out."
"Because of this Joel?" Dad says Joel's name with distaste.
"No. Well, a little, but only because Joel helped me realize it. I don't know what I want to do, but I know it's not this." I blink back a tear. "I'm sorry I wasted your money."
"Sweetheart, I have plenty of money." Dad sets his hands on my shoulders. "Are you sure this is what you want?"
I nod.
"Infatuation can cloud your judgment," he says. "If you're still hung up on Joel, thinking you can't be with him if you're a lawyer—"
"No, it's not that. Joel wouldn't care. He just… he just wants me to be happy," I say.
"Will leaving school make you happy?" Dad asks.
"Once I get over the shock." My heart is thudding against my chest. I can't believe I'm having this conversation in front of my divorce attorney. Or at my
settlement conference.
But I'm glad it's happening now and not later.
I'm glad Dad is here.
I look back to Dad. "You trust me?"
He nods.
"Let me talk to Mr. Shaw alone," I say. I whisper my next set of instructions in Dad's ear.
"Are you sure, sweetheart?"
I nod. "I'll see you at lunch."
My father looks to Mr. Shaw. Despite the clear disgust in Daddy's eyes, he nods, shakes Mr. Shaw's hand goodbye, and takes his leave.
The lawyer perks up. He's sure I'm about to ask for money. "Not everyone feels comfortable making demands in front of family."
"No, that's not it."
I swallow hard.
I want…
Fuck. My mouth goes sticky. I can't say what I want. Not yet. Not to him.
I have to say it to Joel first.
