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I turn the heat down. That's better. I add the rest of the shrimp and the entire bag of mixed vegetables. "It won't need attention for a while. It's not going to be a masterpiece, but—"

"You can pick up stuff to cook tomorrow."

"Good."

He slides his arms around my waist. "This looks fucking amazing."

"Don't get your hopes up."

His voice gets low. "Why do you do that?"

"What?"

"Put yourself down like that."

"Just being realistic."

He turns me around so we're face to face. "No. It's more than that."

I bite my lip. I can't explain it. And why the fuck should I explain it to Joel when we're going to part ways forever in a week?

I shake my head. "Forget it."

"No."

"What do you mean no?"

He moves closer. His eyes bore into mine. "Last night, you looked miserable. Were you?"

I bite my lip. "Maybe not miserable."

"Bullshit."

Okay, that is bullshit. I nod. "I was."

"After a while, all that shit slid off your back, and you were happy."

That much, I do remember. "Yeah."

"You're going back to that ugly place in your head."

He's right.

I stare back at Joel. He does care that I'm upset.

My happiness matters to him.

But this relationship has an expiration date.

Fuck.

This is confusing.

He moves close enough that I can feel the heat of his body. Then he's rubbing my shoulders and leaning in to whisper.

"What are you thinking?" he asks.

"Right now?"

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