Iwashappy. Deep down, the relief of this meeting was lined with a happiness I knew I’d treasure.
But all I could think about right now was him.
By the time Mom and I left, twilight was settling over the farm. The drive back to Jasper’s was quiet.
“They’re wonderful,” Mom said finally.
“Yeah. They are.”
“You seemed tense after Dex arrived.”
My hands tightened in my lap. “It was just awkward. Like he said, we met wrong last night. It was just a tense situation.”
“Is that all?”
“Mom, please. I can’t... not right now.”
She let it go, but I could feel her worry.
Back at Jasper’s, I went straight to my room. Sat on the edge of the bed and stared at nothing.
I’d met my brothers. They were everything I’d hoped for. Kind, welcoming, genuine. They wanted me in their lives.
It should have been perfect.
But all I could see was his face when he walked through that door. The horror. The guilt. The knowledge that we’d almost...
“Practically another brother.”
The words echoed in my head.
I wanted to hate him. For pulling away last night, for trying to call them, for making me feel like I was something to be disposed of.
But underneath the anger was something more complicated. Because I’d seen his face. Seen the real regret there. And I’d heard what he said in the bar about feeling invisible, about watching everyone else’s life move forward while his stalled.
I’d felt a connection to him. Real and bone-deep and terrifying.
And now I knew why he’d panicked.
Now I knew why it could never happen.
Because to them, he was family. And I was family. And that made us...
I couldn’t even finish the thought.
Friday. I’d see him again Friday at the family dinner. Along with all my new brothers and their wives and their children and their perfect, complicated, messy family.
A family that included both of us.
A family where we’d have to pretend we were strangers who’d met awkwardly in a bar and nothing more.
I fell back on the bed and stared at the ceiling.
“How am I supposed to do this?” I whispered to the empty room.
No answer came. I was on my own, just like always.
Chapter 4
