His hands were in my hair now, tilting my head back so he could kiss my neck, and I melted against him. This was exactly what I needed. To feel wanted, desired, seen. To forget about tomorrow and just exist in this moment.
This moment was safe. With him. This person I barely knew, but held me like I was the most precious thing he’d ever found. Not because I was fragile. But because he couldn’t bear to let me go.
We kissed until we were both trembling, until my lips were swollen and his hair was a mess from my fingers.
When we broke apart, both breathless, he pressed his forehead to mine.
“Come home with me,” he said quietly. “Please.”
I wanted to. God, I wanted to. Wanted to lose myself in him, in this connection, in feeling something other than anxious and inadequate.
“Yes,” I whispered.
Relief and desire flashed across his face. But then he pulled back slightly, his thumb brushing my kiss-swollen lips.
“We’ve both been drinking,” he said, his voice strained. “I want you. But I want you to be sure.”
The fact that he was checking, that he cared about my clarity even now, made me want him more.
“I’m sure,” I said. “I needed this tonight. God, I needed this.”
Today had been so intense. Arriving at Jasper’s house, seeing where my brothers grew up, feeling the weight of what tomorrow would bring. Meeting them for the first time, trying to fit into their lives, wondering if they’d actually want me there.
“Tomorrow’s going to be so much worse,” I said, laughing breathlessly against his mouth. “I need a moment that’s justmine. Where I don’t have to be the missing sister, the hidden shame.”
“Tomorrow?” His lips moved to my neck.
“Meeting my brothers. Half-brothers.” I kissed him again, trying to lose myself in the sensation. “First time.”
“Mm-hmm.” His attention was on the spot where my neck met my shoulder, sending shivers through me.
The words kept coming, nervous energy and alcohol loosening my tongue. “I just found out about them a few months ago. Whole thing is crazy. My mom had this affair, the guy didn’t know I existed, and now I’m here to meet them and I’m terrified.”
I felt him go still against me, but I was too caught up to stop.
“The Farringtons,” I said, pulling back to look at his face, smiling even though my stomach was churning with nerves about tomorrow. “Do you know them? Oh god, small town, you probably do, don’t you? Everyone probably knows everyone here.”
The look on his face stopped me mid-sentence.
He’d gone completely white. Frozen. Like I’d struck him.
“What?” My voice came out small. “What’s wrong?”
He stepped back, putting distance between us, and ran his hand through his hair. His whole body had changed. Tense, closed off, panicked.
“What did you say?” His voice was hollow, nothing like the warm roughness from moments ago.
“My brothers?” Confusion and hurt started to twist in my chest. “The Farringtons? Do you know them?”
“Fuck.” He took another step back. “FUCK.”
“Dex, what’s wrong?” I reached for him, but he flinched away. “What…”
“I can’t.” He was shaking his head, purposefully not meeting my eyes. “This was… I can’t do this.”
“What do you mean you can’t do this?” My voice rose, confusion giving way to anger. “We were just… You were just.”
“The Farringtons.” He finally looked at me, and the guilt on his face made my stomach drop. “I know them. I know them very well. I can’t.Wecan’t.”
