The words hung between us. An acknowledgment of what we were doing. Keeping this secret. Hiding.
“Is this crazy?” she asked quietly. “What we’re doing?”
“Probably.”
“But we’re doing it anyway.”
“Yeah.” I reached across the console, found her hand. Laced our fingers together. “We’re doing it anyway.”
She squeezed my hand, and something in my chest settled. This was right. Maybe it was temporary, maybe it wascomplicated, but it was right. It had to be, because I couldn’t accept that anything about Leigh or what we wanted could possibly be wrong.
We drove in comfortable silence, her hand in mine, the radio playing softly. The sun was setting, painting the sky in shades of pink and gold, and for the first time in months I felt like I could breathe. All of the feelings that had been clouding me over the past couple of months were just… not that important any more.
When we arrived at the restaurant it was exactly as I remembered. Small, intimate, the kind of place where they knew the regulars by name but made newcomers feel welcome. We got a table in the back corner, away from the main dining area, and I was grateful for the privacy, especially when Leigh took the table next to mine and I found myself hooking my hand under her seat and pulling it just a fraction closer.
She smiled softly, biting her bottom lip before the waiter interrupted us to pass us the menus.
Leigh looked around, taking it in. “This is nice. How’d you find this place?”
“I came here a few times years ago. Before...” I trailed off.
“Before what?”
“Before I decided I was better off alone.”
She looked at me, something soft in her expression. “What changed?”
You, I wanted to say. You changed everything.
But instead I said, “I got tired of being alone.”
The waiter appeared, saving me from having to elaborate. We ordered wine for her, water for me, pasta dishes that sounded too complicated but the waiter promised were amazing.
When we were alone again, Leigh leaned forward. “So. First date conversation. Tell me something I don’t know about you.”
“That’s a dangerous question.”
“I’ll risk it.”
I thought about it. About all the things I kept locked away, all the truths I never shared. And somehow, with her, I wanted to.
“I’m terrified of heights,” I finally said.
She blinked. “Really?”
“Really. Have been since I was a kid. I once decided that I could work through it if I pushed myself hard enough and it turned into this whole situation where I dared Xander to jump of the barn roof at Booker’s ranch.” I laughed at the thought of all the stupid stuff we used to do as kids. “He nearly did it too. Apparently we weren’t that smart until we got older.”
“I bet you have a lot of stories like that about them.”
“Yeah. We’ve spent a lot of time together. They had it rough growing up. Regina was a tyrant and even back when I was a kid I knew they needed someone to help them escape. Even if it was just for the afternoon and with some crazy idea that we could break our fall if the mud was thick enough at the bottom. I guess, we did that for each other though. They saw how alone I was a kid. How much I needed...” I stopped myself. This was getting too real too fast.
But Leigh just watched me, no judgment in her eyes. “You think they only love you because of what you can give them?”
“I never said that.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
I looked away, uncomfortable with how clearly she saw me. “Maybe. Yeah. Maybe I do think that.”
