Chapter 19
LEIGH
Iwas sitting on the bed in my room at Jasper’s house, staring at my phone, when I realized I’d been holding it for twenty minutes without actually doing anything.
Just staring at Dex’s contact. Thinking about calling him. Not calling him.
It had been two days since the Mrs. Shulster conversation. Two days since we’d agreed to only see each other at wedding events. Two days of keeping my distance and hating every second of it.
And tomorrow was the band auditions. We’d be in the same room, surrounded by people, pretending we were nothing more than friendly acquaintances working on the same project.
I hated it.
But more than that, I was spiraling about what we were going to say when we finally told everyone. How do you explain a relationship that’s supposed to end? How do you introduce someone as your... what? Temporary summer boyfriend? The guy you’re sleeping with until August? The friend with benefits who, oh by the way, also happens to be your best friend?
God, it sounded terrible no matter how I framed it. Although maybe the last one was one to avoid.
I dropped the phone on the bed and lay back, staring at the ceiling.
This room was nice. Too nice. The whole house was too nice. Every time I walked through it, I was reminded that this was where my brothers grew up. This comfort, this stability, this home. They had this their whole lives.
While I had a one-bedroom apartment where Mom worked double shifts just to keep us afloat. Where she slept on a pull-out so I could have the bedroom no matter how many times I tried to get her to swap. Where noodles with butter weren’t actually my favorite meal but I learned at an early age that they were cheap and easy to make when she was too tired from pulling a double shift.
The unfairness of it still stung sometimes.
A knock on my door interrupted my spiraling thoughts.
“Leigh? You awake?”
Jasper.
I sat up. “Yeah. Come in.”
He opened the door slowly, like he wasn’t sure if he was welcome. It made something in my chest ache.
“Hey,” he said. “I noticed you’ve been pretty quiet the past few days. I wanted to check in. See if you’re okay.”
I opened my mouth to say I was fine. That everything was great. But looking at him standing there, genuinely concerned, something in me cracked.
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I don’t really know if I’m okay or not.”
His expression softened. “Can I come in? Or if you’d rather talk somewhere else… or to your mom…”
“No, here is fine.” I patted the bed next to me. “Sit.”
He came in and sat, keeping a respectful distance, hands folded in his lap. Like he was afraid of overstepping.
We sat in silence for a moment. Not uncomfortable, exactly, but weighted.
“I’ve been avoiding you,” I said finally. “I know I have. And it’s not because... I mean, I’m not angry or anything. I just...”
“You wanted to give me and your mom space,” he finished quietly.
I looked at him, surprised. “How did you know?”
“Because Caroline told me that she thought it was something you’d do. Wanting us to have time alone. To figure things out without you in the way.” He turned to face me. “Leigh, you’re not in the way. You could never be in the way.”
“But I am though. Aren’t I?” The words came out more bitter than I intended. “This whole thing. You and Mom, you and your sons, all of it! It existed before I showed up. I’m the complication. The secret that got revealed. The person who doesn’t quite fit anywhere.”
