Ivy felt a surge of envy. She thought of her mum fretting over her fees, the tiny, cramped room where she stayed in Truro, stuffed with her art materials, the hours commuting on buses in the dark. The way she’d come home for the holidays not because shewantedto, but because it was the only place she could live rent-free. And here was Trip, flitting across countries, no looming deadlines, no extra jobs to pay for petrol, no guilt. Offers from high-end colleges whenever he decided to make a decision.Lucky him, she thought. Must be nice to go wherever the wind took you. No wonder he was always so thrilled with life.
‘Honestly,’ Trip said hastily, as though reading her mind, ‘it’s been great, but it’s also kind of terrifying. Everyone else has a plan, you know?’ He gestured to Erin, Mei and Callum.Not me, Ivy thought.
‘You guys seem so certain about what you want to do,’ Trip continued, ‘whereas I keep thinking … what if I pick wrong?’
There was a beat of silence. Ivy caught his eye, and for once, he didn’t look like his usual cheerful, confident self. He looked, briefly, as uncertain as she felt.
‘Welcome to the club,’ she muttered, before she could stop herself. ‘Nagging uncertainty. Existential dread. It sucks.’
Trip gave her a brief, tentative smile. ‘Thanks.’ He gathered himself. ‘So you guys have all known each other since school?’
‘Yeah,’ said Mei. ‘Only Ivy was always a bit of a loner.’ She shook her head, smiling. ‘She and Raye were too busy being arty and mysterious to hang out much.’
‘Yeah,’ said Callum, laughing. ‘Ivy, remember when you called me a philistine for putting your picture the wrong way up?’
‘Or when you wore that placard for a week as performance art,’ said Erin. ‘Teachers kept begging you to take it off because you couldn’t fit through doors.’
‘Yeah, I remember.’ Ivy felt herself tensing. For some reason she didn’t want Trip to think she had been an outsider at school. A weirdo. Even though she had admittedly been both of those things.
But Trip just shrugged. ‘Ivy sounds like she was pretty cool at school,’ he said, looking right at her with his warm, caramel eyes.
Ivy rolled her eyes. ‘Oh, please,’ she said. ‘Whatever.’ But she couldn’t help it. She was smiling. Someone – even if it was a bizarrely cheerful and aimless globe-trotting American tourist – thoughtshe, Ivy Pearson, waspretty cool.
‘Ivy’s all right,’ said Erin, grinning at her. ‘Or she would be if she cracked a smile more often.’
Callum nudged Ivy affectionately. Mei giggled. The dogwagged his tail vigorously and licked Trip’s hand. Just for a moment, Ivy saw the pub through Trip’s warm, delighted gaze. Saw her old school friends as funny and welcoming. Saw the fairy lights and worn tables and even the disgusting Cornish pasty pizza as charming.
Shehadmissed Fox Bay, she realised, with a faint pang in her chest. She just hadn’t known it till now.
After three drinks instead of the promised one, Ivy decided it was time to leave. It had been okay, she thought cautiously – better than she had expected, anyway – but she didn’t want to push it. The others gathered their things as well and headed out into the night.
The air was bitterly cold. Eyes watering, Ivy zipped up her coat and rubbed at her arms as the group stood outside, chatting and making vague plans for the weekend.
‘Hot chocolates at the Driftwood on Saturday, Ivy?’ Mei said. ‘Are you in?’
‘I’ll probably be working,’ Ivy said evasively. ‘And doing stuff for the school show. Mum’s roped me into helping with the props.’
‘Wait,wecould help with the show too,’ said Erin suddenly. ‘Remember Mr H’s shows in primary school? I miss doing them together. And Lucy is dead excited about it. Do you think they need an extra pair of hands, Ivy?’
‘Yeah,’ said Callum. ‘I could help with the sound maybe.’
‘And I can do stage-manager stuff,’ said Mei. ‘I’m used tobossing people around behind the bar. I even have a headpiece from when I was Leavers’ Prom co-ordinator.’ She beamed at Ivy. ‘We could hang out properly. I want to hear more about your art project.’
‘And you didn’t tell us whether you met any hot guys at college,’ said Erin.
‘Um,’ said Ivy, the warmth she’d felt in the pub rapidly fading, ‘I’ll ask Mr H if he needs anyone.’ If she didn’taccidentallyforget, she thought. She could keep up the pretence that everything was fine for a few hours, but any more than that would be hard.
‘Yeah, text us and let us know. Night, guys!’ Erin called, looping arms with Mei and Callum. ‘So good to see you!’
‘You too,’ Ivy said, waving.
‘I’ll walk you back,’ Trip said.
‘You don’t have to,’ she said. ‘My car’s parked a bit away from the bookshop. I’ll be fine on my own.’
‘It’s okay, I’d like the walk. If you want the company.’ He hesitated. ‘Or maybe you’re ready for a bit of peace and quiet?’
Ivy groaned internally. Shewasready for peace and quiet and she wasn’t sure Trip had it in him to be quiet for more than a minute at a time. ‘How about we walk and … don’t talk?’ she said, trying to be as tactful as possible. ‘Can you manage that, do you think?’
