‘If you’re stuck,’ Jess added, ‘find what you care about. Draw that. And remember to …’
‘To dig into my practice, I know,’ finished Ivy.
Jess smiled. ‘You can do this, Ivy. I should be accepting the final projects now, but technically I can give you till the firstweek back. Take the winter break to figure this one out. Whatmattersto you artistically? What speaks to you? What do you enjoy drawing, what feels important? Find that and the rest will come.’ She pushed her chair back. ‘Let’s come back in January with some fresh ideas and a fresh attitude, okay? Because you have it in you. I know you do.’
‘Thanks,’ said Ivy. She had gathered up her work and left the studio that afternoon feeling nothing less than crushed. She had ducked past the student union, knowing that everyone would be in there celebrating the end of term and their successful projects, and driven back to her lodgings, miserable thoughts churning round her head.
Wereephemerality and impermanence the same thing? Yet again, Ivy had a growing suspicion she’d made the biggest mistake of her life. The last thing she’d painted with any conviction had been a half-finished seascape in September that she’d immediately flipped face-down on her desk. It had reminded her of home, and the last thing she wanted to paint was anything inspired by Fox Bay.
And now it was the end of term. The crowds of exciting, Bohemian new friends Ivy had thought she would make had obviously not materialised, nor had the longed-for internship in Paris. Ivy had no hot artist boyfriend to bring home and show off either. With no money and no offers pending, Ivy had realised she had no choice but to go back. Back to Fox Bay, back to the room she shared with Liv, to figure out her end-of-year art project in a place she knew better than the back of herhand, where literally nothing exciting or inspirational ever happened.
‘Of course you must come back!’ her mum had said delightedly down the phone when Ivy finally summoned the courage to call and admit defeat. Her mum was permanently enthusiastic about life and love, despite a succession of failed relationships. ‘I’m sorry the internship didn’t work out, but I can’t wait to see you and Liv will bethrilled. Not to mention everyone else here. Everything is exactly the same in the flat, love. We haven’t changed athing.’
Ivy blinked back tears. It was comforting hearing her mum’s warm, lilting voice. But …everything is exactly the same.We haven’t changed a thing. She could just imagine it – the same mismatched furniture, the same cramped little kitchen, the same bedroom, one half papered in Velvet Underground posters and prints of expressionist art, the other covered in Lilo & Stitch and Minions.
‘Great,’ she said in a small voice.
‘Fox Bay will probably roll out the red carpet. Or at least, Fin will bake his special cheese scones for you.’
Fox Bay would be the same too, Ivy had thought gloomily. The bakery, with Fin setting out the bread at exactly the same time every morning (Ivy had to admit to missing those cheese scones). Wildest Dreams Bookshop, with its eccentric owner Josie doing sun salutations in the doorway. The Mariner’s Arms, with its resident golden retriever and Simi and Lou behind the bar. Old Bill, smoking his pipe in his sea captain’s hat;Tamsin, selling her crystals; Skye, making coffee at the Driftwood Café; Kate at the surf shop teaching the new generation of surfers …
Nothing ever changed in Fox Bay and Ivy couldn’t believe that anything ever would.
‘And all your school friends will be so pleased,’ her mum had gone on happily. ‘Erin, Mei, Callum.’
‘They’re not my friends, Mum,’ Ivy muttered. ‘They think I’m a loser. They only used to invite me to things because they felt sorry for me. I bet they were relieved I never went.’
Mei, Erin and Callum were nothing like her and Raye. They did regular Fox Bay things like surfing and partying on the beach, while Raye and Ivy had preferred to listen to music in their rooms and plot their escape. And Raye had been non-committal about the break, wanting to hang with Cleo, her new girlfriend. Ivy wasn’t sure when she’d be back.
And there was another thing to consider. While Ivy’s mum was just about scraping together tuition fees for Cornwall Art College, Ivy would still need to work during the holidays. She needed a job.
‘I’ll ask around,’ her mum had said, clearly running through her mental roster of Fox Bay job vacancies. ‘Lou’s started doing delivery pizza, so maybe you could do some shifts with the car, but I’m not sure it’s quite taken off yet and the Fiat is pretty unreliable, as you know. Or Simi might need help behind the bar at the Mariner’s Arms now that Jacob’s away with Anna … I saw Skye the other day back for theholidays, so I’m not sure there will be anything going at the Driftwood …’
‘Thanks, Mum,’ Ivy said. ‘I was sort of hoping for something during the day so I can do my project in the evenings. But if you hear of anything …’
‘I’ll do my best,’ her mum had promised.
But all her mum’s leads – handing out fliers for Old Bill’s new boat tours, wiping tables at the beach café – came up short. In the end, Ivy had rung Raye.
‘I’ve got the perfect solution,’ Raye told her. ‘Wildest Dreams. It’s the most low-maintenance jobever.’ She had worked at the haphazard bookshop part-time for years.
‘It’s incredibly chill,’ Raye assured her. ‘You remember – I was mostly reading or catching up on gossip. Okay it got pretty busy towards the end of last summer but that was exceptional circs. It’ll be perfect for your needs.’
Stacking shelves during the day sounded more appealing than pulling pints at night, Ivy thought.
‘Do you think Josie needs anyone?’ she asked.
‘I bet she does,’ Raye had said. ‘I just had to tell her I couldn’t help out this winter as usual. Josie is the best. If anyone is going to support your artistic endeavours, it’s her. She isallabout living for your art. Besides, she’s too loved up with Fin these days to make anyone workthathard. You could do a lot worse than Wildest Dreams. I’ll text her now and ask.’
‘Thanks,’ Ivy had told Raye. ‘I guess I’m coming home. Areyou not coming back yet then?’ She’d tried not to sound too hopeful (or desperate).
Raye laughed down the phone. ‘And miss the end-of-term parties? No way! Besides,’ her voice turned coy, ‘Cleo’s parents are coming to Glasgow in a couple of weeks and she thought maybe we could all have dinner together. Pretty big, huh?’
‘Pretty big,’ said Ivy, trying not to sound like she cared too much whether Raye made it or not. Like she wasn’t at all jealous of Raye’s cool new life. ‘I guess I’ll see you when I see you.’
‘I’ll try and make it back for New Year,’ Raye said breezily. ‘And,’ she went on mysteriously, ‘wait till you see Fox Bay. I went back for Reading Week and let me tell you, you’re in for a surprise. Things have changed since you were last there.’
‘Really?’ Ivy said, hardly listening. ‘Change, in Fox Bay? I find that hard to imagine. Have they repainted the station sign? Or put in new speed bumps by the Co-op?’
