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"I know." She wraps her arms around me and rests her head on my chest. "We're talking. Trust me, talking doesn't usually lead to sex. Maybe for smoking hot rock star sex gods. But not for normal people."
I press one palm against the space between her shoulder blades. I use my other hand to run my fingers through her hair. It's an instinct. My body responds to hers.
It wants hers. There's no doubt about that.
But the way she's purring in my lap. The way she's holding me…
She's seeing an ugly part of me. And she's not running away.
It's intense.
It's not like when I'm onstage or in the studio, singing lyrics about ugly things in a beautiful way.
I'm not in control.
I can't hide behind artistic license.
I can't hide behind sex appeal.
I'm a fucking guy in a fucking car.
She looks up at me, her brown eyes full of understanding. "I don't have a brother or a sister. I'm not sure I've even loved anyone as much as you love Piper and Ethan. But I… I guess I've never had the experience of someone not needing me anymore. My mom… that's still complicated, but she does need me. And my dad… he trusts her when she doesn't deserve it, so he needs me too. But I don't think you're wrong."
"I should be happy for him."
"Are you?"
"No."
Something in her expression changes, something I can't place. She presses her lips together. "I'm guessing you don't want to talk about it."
"Logan was right. Beauty and brains."
"You needed him to tell you that?"
"No."
"Sorry. I get a little mouthy when I'm drunk."
"I thought you weren't drunk?"
"Tipsy. Whatever." She scoots back a few inches, until her ass really is against the steering wheel. "You should get a bigger car."
"Nobody fucks in the driver's seat."
Her eyes light up. "You really—"
"No." I run my hands through her hair. There's something nice about looking up at her like this. Nice is the only word I have. Either blood is rushing to my cock at an alarming rate or I'm losing my way with words. "It's your turn."
Her voice drops to a whisper. "I don't want to say it."
"I know."
"I… I haven't told anyone this." She looks down at her thighs. Then at mine. "I… I was with Adam for four years."
I nod.
"He was my first. My only until you. We were slow about sex at first. It took a few months. And that was fine. It seemed smart. I was eighteen and I wanted to have sex, and I wanted to have sex with this guy I really liked, loved even, but I was nervous too. The first time was awkward. But it was okay. The first year, it was okay. Then he started having technical difficulties…" She plays with the hem of her dress.
