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His eyes light up with realization. "Fuck, that's true."
"You're selfless."
"Or out of touch with my feelings."
"But you're not, not if you write songs the way you do." I lean closer. "I don't doubt that you ache for your brother and sister, or your bandmates, but how did you feel?"
"Terrified I'd lose the only thing that kept me and my brother connecting." His eyes go to the table. "Terrified I'd end up alone."
"Do you feel alone now?"
He nods. "It's not as bad. I can call Ethan anytime I want and work on a riff. He might choose Vi over me, but he can't stay away from his guitar for long."
"And Piper?"
"That's harder. But as long as she's engaged to the bassist and he's in the band, she'll be around."
"And you get Joel and Kit around too?"
He nods.
"You love all of them?"
"Yeah. Don't tell Joel."
"I think he knows."
Mal laughs. "Yeah, he probably does. He's smarter than he looks too."
"You have a lot of love to give."
Something in his posture shifts, some realization. Still, he nods. "Keep that our secret."
It does something to me, thinking of all that love Mal has to give. He's been alone a long time. And I've felt alone for far too long, considering I was with Adam until a few weeks ago.
I'm not supposed to get ideas about Mal and I being together.
About this being more than sex.
But my head is flush with thoughts of the future. Of more. Of all of him.
His gaze shifts from my eyes to my lips to my chest. "Where has that dress been?"
"Waiting for a nice occasion." I push past the flush in my cheeks. "I don't think I've ever worn it."
"Why'd you buy it?" His eyes lock with mine. "Not that I'm complaining."
"Every so often, I get these ideas of some fantasy life I could lead. Maybe it's the filmmaker dreamer thing. This one… well, it came with these heels and black lace lingerie."
He raises a brow like he's considering demanding a look at said lingerie.
"I thought, maybe, this would make Adam want me." I pressed my lips together. Already, I can feel the sting of rejection in my fingertips. I can taste its bitterness on my tongue. "It didn't."
"That's on him."
I swallow hard. "Maybe."
Mal's voice drops an octave. "Lacey, tell me what I have to do to convince you he was an idiot and I'll do it."
