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My body whines.
My thoughts immediately go to Lacey.
To her nails digging into my skin.
To her brown eyes filled with pleasure.
To her fuck, he's really going to pay three months of my rent smile.
I'm not going to fuck Natalie while I'm thinking of Lacey.
Hell, I'm not going to fuck anyone for a while. I'm sick of breaking women's hearts.
Natalie reaches up and runs her fingers through my hair. Her voice gets soft. She's giving up on pretenses. "I know you feel it too..." She rises to her tiptoes and leans in to kiss me.
I turn my head so she gets my cheek.
"Mal... I..." She clutches at my t-shirt like it's her lifeline.
There's nothing I can do.
She's going to say it.
And I'm going to break her heart.
It's inevitable.
"I love you," she whispers. Her eyes search mine. When I don't respond, she continues. "You must feel something."
Sugar coating this will only make it hurt more. "No."
"No?"
I keep my voice firm. "No."
"But..." She stares at me, studying my expression, begging me to break.
I hate doing this to her, but it's the only merciful option.
"This is just sex, Natalie. That's all it's ever been. That's all I'm capable of."
She blinks back a tear. She shakes her head. Then she's not trying to hold them off. She lets tears fall down her cheeks. "No, Mal... you must. The way you touch me... The things you make me feel. You're rough. Then you're tender. No one else has ever made me feel like my needs meant that much to them. No one else has ever made me come the way I do with you." She chokes back a sob. "The first thing you do when you tie me up is go down on me. If that isn't love—"
I shake my head.
"Mal..."
"I should go."
She tugs at my t-shirt and buries her head in my chest. She's sobbing so hard she's shaking.
I wrap my arms around Natalie. "I'm sorry, but I don't love you. I never will. I'll never want more than sex."
"But..." She breaks into a sob.
I squeeze her tightly. This is the last time I'll ever comfort her. And right now, she needs comfort more than she needs anything.
I keep my voice soft. "You'll find someone capable of loving you. You'll be happier that way."
