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That's a hard question to answer. I thought so, but now… I don't know.

Everything is fucked.

Violet manages to untangle herself from Ethan for long enough to convince us to play cards.

It's difficult playing five hundred rummy sitting across from each other with only the tiny side tables available, but we manage.

We laugh and we joke and we keep the conversation away from anything remotely heavy.

For a while, it feels like everything is normal.

And I can see all that love flowing between Ethan and Violet.

And all that love flowing between Kit and Piper.

And I want that, even if I still can't wrap my head around being half of a whole.

We get lunch in the cafeteria, though no one really eats.

We play more cards.

We get tea and coffee, and we come back to the waiting room.

And everything is okay.

Until Mom's surgeon steps out of the double doors.

He pulls off his mask.

And he looks towards us.

And he shakes his head.

And I know.

She's gone.

He explains what happened, some complication, but I don't hear it.

I only hear one thing:

I'm sorry, but we lost your mother.

39

Lacey

The moment I see Incoming Call from Ethan Strong light up my cell screen, I know.

You don't call your brother's ex-not-even-a-girlfriend to say everything's okay.

I try to keep my voice even as I pick up the phone. "Hey."

Ethan is decidedly less steady. "Hey."

I stare back at my computer screen. It's not like I'm making progress working on the Dangerous Noise video. It hurts too much when so many of the frames are images of Mal.

I take a deep breath as I push up from my computer. "She didn't make it?"

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