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I take my last sip of tea. "I love Mal. I want to be with him. But he has to want that too."
She nods knowingly.
"Thanks for the tea. I should go."
"As long as you're going to a girlfriend's place to cry."
"My best friend is three thousand miles away. But…"
"No but. You need carbs and someone to listen to you bitch about him. And I love hearing about Mal's weaknesses."
"What if I want to talk about how much I'll miss him spanking me?"
Piper cringes that OMG, that's my brother cringe of hers. "I… I can live with that."
"Are you sure? He does know how to use that riding crop."
Her face goes white. "I… You're fucking with me?"
"Yeah, but he does."
She sticks out her tongue. "Pancakes can make any level of detail tolerable."
"Can they?"
"If they come with enough coffee. And they're chocolate chip." She motions to the stairs. "Please. I'll change then we'll walk over, then you don't ever have to deal with any Strong family shit if you don't want to."
"You have a deal."
Piper and I don't talk about Mal. Not really. I mention a few things here and there. Mostly I ask her about Kit. About her life. About what it's like to have all the important people in her life away for months at a time.
We stuff ourselves with pancakes and caffeinated beverages.
She hugs me goodbye when I leave.
As soon as I get home, I call Carrie.
And I tell her everything.
And she convinces me to get dinner with Adam. And we spend the entire meal bitching about how much breakups suck.
It feels like we're friends again.
I don't feel completely alone here.
But I don't feel whole the way I did with Mal either.
42
Mal
For days, I do nothing but shower, sleep, and watch TV.
Ethan still has my phone.
I don't fight him about it.
I don't fight at all.
