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We eat in silence for minutes.
When she looks back at me, all that shame in her expression is gone. "I… if you want to set limits on this, that's your right. But I have mine. I'm not going to talk about Adam. And I don't want your opinion on the matter."
That's a lie. She wants someone telling her it's okay. She needs that. Still, I nod.
"It's been a long time since I've been in a relationship where there was romantic potential. I like you, Mal. And that, ahem, on the couch, that was amazing. I've never had sex like that. I…" That shame creeps back into her expression. She shakes it off. "I want to continue having lots of sex with you. But this doesn't feel casual when you start prying me apart."
That's fair. I nod.
"I don't want messy. How about… I tell you if it's getting messy for me. And you tell me if it's getting messy for you. We can course-correct."
I nod. I'll tell her if this is getting messy.
But I'm not about to let her walk around with all this shame.
I don't know what happened with her ex to convince her she's wrong for wanting to be fucked.
But I'm going to find out.
And I'm going to convince her otherwise.
Most of the time, the beach holds no appeal.
It's too bright.
The air is too hot. The water is too cold.
The fucking sand gets everywhere.
It's crowded. Loud. Dirty.
But, right now, I don't feel any of that.
Right now, I'm watching Lacey toss her towel onto the ground and jump into a ready to go position.
She digs her heels into the sand.
She motions to me then to the ocean. "I'll race you."
She looks fucking amazing in that pink polka-dot bikini, her dark hair blowing behind her.
But that isn't what has my attention.
It's the joy in her expression.
All that tension from lunch is gone. She's where she belongs.
She's free.
And she's pulling me into that feeling.
I toss my t-shirt on my towel and step out of my flip-flops. The sand is rough and cold against my feet.
The soft breeze blows over my skin, waking up every nerve.
I want to race her to the ocean.
I hate swimming and I want to race her to the ocean.
